Well, not exactly. I'm taking a Developmental Psychology class (which I love, aside from the crazy Russian lady that loves the sound of her voice) this term, and recently, we've been going over the age group of young adults. I've had a couple "issues" with a few of the things that have been said so far about young adults. Being a young adult myself, I feel like I have a little say in what I feel and how I'm developing.
[Issue #1] Early Adulthood Life Structure:
- Men: "settling down"
- Women: Split dreams.
Now call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure a man's biggest dream isn't to settle down. Seems as if it's the last thing they want. I could be wrong, but it's just what I see.
Women with split dreams, I guess I could see that. I have split dreams. I want to be a successful nurse, a good wife and a great mom some day. They're split, right?
[Issue #2] (This is my biggest issue) Selecting a Mate:
-Men: Attractiveness, domestic skills. (In this order)
-Women: Intelligence, ambition, financial status, morals. (In this order)
I have a hard time believing that all a man wants is an attractive woman to clean his house and cook his dinner. I mean, yeah those things are pretty awesome if you can find a woman like that, but seriously? Give the guys some credit, most of them want more than that! Again, I could be crazy, but I just don't believe it. I call BS.
And while I don't want to date/marry a complete moron, his intelligence isn't the first on my list. Ambitions are good, as long as that not all you see. Financial status? I could care less what you have. Morals are good. If we don't agree on most moral issues, then there could be a problem. It says in the book if you agree on 60% of most issues, you'll have a successful marriage/relationship.
The things that I look for in a guy aren't the surface things. Money? Not important. I'm going to be a nurse, I'll be making bank. I'm not worried about money in a relationship. Should he have goals and something he wants and tries to pursue? Yeah, definitely. But putting ambitious as a trait he must have for me to even consider dating him is just crazy.
My type of guy is a kind person. He treats people with respect, and they respect him for it. He makes fun of me, and himself, and can take it when I do it back. He should like sports, but it's definitely not necessary, but he has to understand when the Ducks are playing, I don't do anything else. He should be confident in himself, and in the things he does. Knowing Jesus is a definite plus. He has to treat our relationship as a partnership. I'll be more likely to keep his belly happy if he doesn't expect it from me. He likes to go and do things with his friends, but likes to have time with just me. Someone I can be my complete self with, and he can do the same with me. He has to pass the family test. My hermano and my Kelly and my mom have to like him, because they know me the best, and they'll know if he's a perfect fit. A sense of humor is the key to my heart.
I don't open up as easy anymore, because of things that have happened in the past, but sometimes it's worth it. It definitely was with Michael. Even if it failed in the end, what we had was special, and I would rather hurt a little now because it's gone than not have had it at all.
What are the qualities in your significant other/future significant other?
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