Good News!

I went to court this morning for my $287 ticket for running a yellow light. I ended up pleading guilty, and only having to pay $70. $30 for taking up the judges time *rolls eyes* and 40 for a class that I'll have to take within the next 90 days to get it off my record. I can't get a ticket within the next 90 days though. Which freaks me out. I'll be even more paranoid when I see cops driving behind me. 

Portland was fun. I spent 4 1/2 hours outside in the freezing cold. From 4 in the morning until 8:30. It was crazy. It didn't go how I expected, but now I have one more step. Hopefully that will work out. If it doesn't then that just means it's not God's plan for me. But boy am I praying for it to happen! 

I'm off to my "Esther" small group now! I hope you all have a lovely Monday!

Sweet and Low

Since I went kinda MIA for a while..

I'm going to finish the 30 day blog challenge.

I'm already halfway through it.

So I'm going to finish.

And you're going to like it.

Well.. maybe.

 

Day Seventeen: Highs and Lows of the past year

 

I'm only doing it from this year. As in 2011. 

Because doing the last 365 days would take way too long.

 

HIGHS:  

4.0 GPA

Ducks played for National Championship

Spent lots of time with my Grammy.

Sang the best solo of my life. (Gave people chills and made them cry.. booyah! ;))

Started an Esther study with my best friend. It's AMAZING. (By Beth Moore.. check it out)

Decided what I wanted to do with my life.

Relationship with my dad and stepmom is getting stronger! 

Forgave a person that really hurt me, and am starting to forget them too.

My relationship with God is getting stronger.

LOWS:

Grieved over the loss of my grandpa. 

My Ducks lost the national championship.

Got my first ticket (that I SHOULDN'T HAVE GOT)

Had car trouble.

Went through a rough time of depression.

Dealt with some really rough words from a person I loved.

 

Looking over my highs and lows of this year so far, I've come to a conclusion. I'm a blessed girl. That these are my lows, and that those are my highs.. I have a lot to be thankful for. God uses the weak to shame the strong. He uses me when I'm weak to bless others that are in the same situation. I serve and Awesome God. I'm thankful beyond words for that.

 

WILW

It's that time again! Time to share what I'm lovin'

this beautiful Wednesday!

I'm Loving...

The random snow that NOBODY saw coming.

It's melting by now, but it gave me a snow day last week.

Who could complain about that?

I'm Loving...

 I'm a total nerd, but I did inventory of my nail polish.

And these are the colors I have.

And I love them all. 

Right now my favorite is the blue that is second in the top row.

It's called "Blue Me Away"

Haha, get it?

I'm Loving...

 The sermon on Sunday.

We had a guest speaker..

Kinda. He goes to our church.

But at one point in his message, this slide came up.

"Grow a pair and deal with it."

I thought it was priceless, so of course, I took a picture.

I love how laid back my church is. 

We're definitely on fire for Christ, 

but we take joy in the short lives we have here on earth.

I <3 my church family!

I'm Loving...

I got to see some of my family a couple weeks ago

(I'm just now posting because I've been MIA)

We went to The Original Roadhouse.

Which is AMAZING. 

My brother and I stole all the straws that were put on our table

so we could make "Straw"berry lemonade.

Yes, he is 26.. and I am 20. Don't judge.

It was definitely a sight to see us both trying to drink out of all of those straws.

I had 5 in mine, he had 4 in his.

It was good feeling like a "kid" again.

I'm loving...

LIFE! It's about time I've gotten out of my funk.

I'm going to Portland this weekend for something HUGE.

And I'm really excited.

Really nervous.

But I'm still not telling!

You'll have to wait. 

If it goes through, I'll tell you.

If not, well.. you're no worse off. 

Hope you're having a wonderful week!

Take some time to think of what YOU'RE loving today.

Numero Uno

I remember laughing when my stepmom told me that having a cat at my age is the best thing for a girl. They're always there to snuggle you when you've had a bad day (if you have a good one) and they'll always love you.. as long as you feed them. I seriously laughed at her when she said that. Now, Masoli (my cat that I brought home from Alabama, but is now my stepdad's cat) isn't that cat. He's not the cat that KNOWS when I'm sad so he snuggles me. He's not the cat that eats my headphones if I leave them on my bed like an idiot. He's not the cat that comes when I make my stupid cat noise. He's not the cat that sleeps in my room, on my bed next to me every night. No, Masoli is not that cat. 

But my Uno is. I know he's just a kitty, but he's the only boy in my life. He's annoying and crazy, but I love him to pieces. I'm thankful for my Uno kitty. Even if he is a brat. Who couldn't love this? (I'm not a cat lady, I swear!)

Beautiful Disaster

She loves her mama's lemonade

Hates the sound that goodbyes make

She prays one day she'll find someone to need her

She swears that there's no difference

Between the lies and compliments

It's all the same if everybody leaves her

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough

The pictures that she's seen make her cry

And she would change everything, everything just ask her

Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster

And she just needs someone to take her home

She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant

Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction

She never stays the same for long

Assuming that she'll get it wrong

Perfect only in her imperfections

She's not a drama queen

She doesn't want to feel this way

Only seventeen, but tired

She would change everything for happy ever after

Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster

But she just needs someone to take her home

Cause she's just the way she is

But no one's told her that's okay.

And she would change everything, everything just ask her

Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster

And she would change everything for happy ever after

Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster

But she just needs someone to take her home..

And she just needs someone to take her home.

Jon Mclaughlin

Heaven

You never realize how important internet is until you CAN'T use it. I've been without internet for the past week, and it has been annoying. I've needed it for school, so it's been frustrating! But, it's all fixed so I'll stop complaining. I had a snow day this week! We randomly got hit with about 5 inches of snow (10 in Bend) so my classes were canceled. It was awesome! It couldn't have come at a better time, too. 

I ended up dropping my Psych class. I can't remember if I stated that in the last post, but I did it. I got a C on my first exam. Which isn't bad, but it was the only grade that I had for the whole term so far, since we never have homework other than studying. I got my midterm grades, and I had a D in the class, which made no sense. So I talked to my instructor and he said it was because I didn't get 100% on some of the sections, so that meant that I didn't study, so I got a 0 for those sections in homework. It's total BS if you ask me, and I didn't need to take another psych class, so I dropped it. To be quite honest, I've gotten rid of a lot of stress when I dropped it. I'm not so exhausted on Tuesday and Thursday, and it's been nice. 

Next Saturday I'm doing something huge. Something that if it goes through could be life altering! Like, more so than a move to Florida. I don't want to say anything about it yet though, because if it falls through I don't want to hear about it from EVERYBODY. I'd just hear about it from a select few (sister, if you want to know, just call my mom or me or whatever and I'll tell you ;)). Sorry for being vague again, but I'm really excited!!! This really could change everything. In an amazing way. So hopefully, God willing, it will happen. :)

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Stay safe and warm! God Bless :)

Eugene Bound

I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before

I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible.

I'm heading to Eugene for the weekend!

Taking a much needed break and visiting family.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend! 

Oh, and I outdid myself in math again. 

I was pretty excited about the 100% I got on a test..

and was pretty sure I couldn't beat that..

I got my second test back yesterday...

100.8%

Yeah baby. 

Basically, I'm a rockstar ;)

WILW

After a week like last week, I needed a good one. 

So far, other than sleeping through my alarm yesterday..

This week has been good. For the most part.

I decided to drop my Psych class.

Not only were his expectations unrealistic, 

it's been a huge weight on my shoulders.

Dropping the class has already killed some stress.

So here's what I'm loving this Wednesday!

I'm Loving... That Valentine's day is next Monday, and I'm not even a little sad about being single. I know some singles out there like to think of Valentine's day as singles awareness day.. and I'll admit to being one of those people once upon a time. I'm loving that I'm not bitter about being single. 

I'm Loving... "She is Love" By Parachute.. it's amazing.. I've heard it in passing before, but when I actually stopped and listened to it, I fell in love :)

I'm Loving... Playing Yahtzee with Kelly. We're total nerds, but anytime we have some down time, it's yahtzee time, baby!

I'm Loving... That I get to go to Eugene this weekend and see my brother and my grandma. Visiting them always makes me happy.. even if it is for only a weekend.

I'm Loving... That people have been telling me they're praying for me to not move to Florida. It shows that I'm loved.

I'm Loving... That even though I've been sick three times (since January), I'm getting better, and I've done it all without medicine! Woot. I'm anti-drugs unless they're absolutely necessary, and I've gotten through these sicknesses quicker than anyone else around me, and I did it without help. Take that.

I'm Loving... That my car was fixed for only $50 by a friend from church. He is awesome and now my car doesn't scream at me..seriously.. it sounded like it was screaming at me.

I'm Loving... That it's Wednesday, and that other than my homework, I didn't do a single productive thing today. Go me! Yay for lazy days (that are much needed!!!)

I'm All Curves

This is what happens when you mix alcohol with a xbox 360 kinect. This was Saturday night. The most I've laughed in a long time. My friends had a few drinks, and I was what people like to call "contact drunk." Their drunkenness made for great entertainment, and I just thought I'd share this little gem with you. Enjoy. By the way, "I'm all curves," guy turned and said that to another man.. it was just awesome.

We Are Okay

There are a thousand excuses that I could give for the reason that I haven't been writing lately. A lot of things I have been busy doing, but the main reason is I haven't really felt like doing it. I just got over a stomach bug last week, and picked up a cold right after that. So much for not getting sick this year. That makes three times since January. That's not really the reason for me not writing either. My heart hasn't felt like it. I've been spending a lot of time with friends and family, trying to get out of this funk I'm in. 

The Michael thing was intense, and very painful. I was in the middle of giving myself a pep-talk when I got pulled over last Tuesday. I've been a mess since then, and it seems like everything just keeps piling up on me. So instead of posting on here and feeling sorry for myself, I was spending time with people who know how to lift me up. And while I'm still not completely lifted, I just wanted to say that I'm alive. Hopefully I'll be able to write something substantial eventually. Have a wonderful night, and God bless.

Music = Love

Day Sixteen - My Views on Mainstream Music

My views on music is if it sounds good to me, then it doesn't matter what genre it is. I have music in my itunes that are in the "Screamo" category, Country, Pop, Alternative Rock, Indie, Rap, R&B.. I pretty much love ALL music. Anything that I can sing to, dance to, harmonize with is my favorite. My favorite song as of right now is "Rocketeer" by Far East Movement. If you haven't heard it, listen to it. It's amazing :)

WILW

There are sometimes when it's really hard to focus on what's good in life.

Those are the times when you need it the most.

This is what I'm loving this Wednesday.

I'm Loving... The stars tonight. It's really cold outside (I should know, I just went out in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops to get something out of my car) but the stars are shining very bright tonight. It took my breath away when I stopped for a second and looked at them. God's gift to us. They're so beautiful to us, I can only imagine how beautiful we are to God. 

I'm Loving... my drives to Redmond/P-ville with Kelly. Something amazing always happens on these drives. We've seen many planes fly so close over us to land at the Redmond Airport, every time we get to see the Mountains is a beautiful day. On the way to Redmond we can see at least seven mountains and it always takes my breath away. Or we'll sing. Our voices are very similar and we both love to harmonize, so singing with her is always fun. I love it.

I'm Loving... Life lessons. Learning to be thankful when all I want to do is cry is a hard, but wonderful lesson. I can't say that I'm loving it right now, but trust me, someday I will.

I'm Loving... Going The Distance. With Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. I've seen it a lot in the past few weeks, but I'm loving it more and more. It's got everything I like in a movie (other than horror). Comedy, romance, and actors that I LOVE (Drew, Justin, Christina Applegate). If you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it. Just don't watch it with any kiddos around.

I'm Loving... That almost everybody is telling me that my ticket will be dropped since it's my first offense. Praying that it's true!

I'm Loving... That even though school is hectic right now, after tomorrow I only have 4 weeks left! Well.. for this term.

I'm Loving... That this post opened my eyes to what I do have to be thankful for :)

Can You Stand The Rain

I got my first ticket yesterday. There, I said it. It was a horrible way to start my day. I was running a little late (thanks to having to wait for my car to warm up so I could get the ice off of it) and probably wasn't thinking straight. I wasn't speeding. Well, I was, but I didn't get caught. I ran a yellow light. Pretty much as soon as I did it, there were lights in my rear view mirror. I'm pretty sure that I said a bunch of four letter words.. right now I couldn't tell you what they were. I pulled over in a parking lot, and was told why I was stopped. The officer went back to his car and did whatever it is that those guys do for 20 minutes while you sit there feeling like an idiot. He came back, and handed me my first ever ticket. I didn't even look at it, I put it in my purse and drove off. I didn't have the heart to look at it. I cried pretty much instantly. This couldn't have come at a worse time. I've been through an emotional roller-coaster. This was exactly a week after someone that I really cared about ripped me a new one and said all kinds of nasty things to me. I really didn't need a $287 fine. Yeah, that's right. Two hundred eighty-seven dollar fine. For a yellow light. Yikes. My spirits have been low recently and this did nothing to help lift them. I have 3 exams tomorrow and a paper due that I haven't even started. I'm not a slacker. But this hole I've fallen into is pulling me deeper and deeper into it. I've lost almost all of my motivation to do anything.. to work out, to study hard, to do homework.. to do anything. I'm stressed out, I'm hurting, I'm exhausted.. I'm battling depression. I'm bipolar. Not extreme, but I do have really high-highs and really low-lows. Right now I'm low. I'm fighting like hell to get out of it, but that ticket just brought me back down. My heart hurts. Really bad. 

But I started a Beth Moore Esther bible study with a few of my friends this morning. One thing that was said really stuck out to me, and helps me with what I'm going through right now. "You can't separate your history from your destiny." Wow. God is going to use what I'm going through right now to shape my destiny. He's going to pull me through this (not that I had any doubt that he would) and it's going to shape me into a better person. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but sometimes.. it's allowed. As long as I don't stay there. So for today, I'm going to wallow in self pity. Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh slate with a new attitude. Wish me luck.

A Site To See

Day Fifteen - My Favorite Tumblrs websites

I'm not really sure what exactly a tumblr is, so that means I don't have a favorite. I do, however, have favorite websites. Ones that I visit on a regular basis, or ones that are sure to cheer me up. 

Top 3 visited sites are:

1. Facebook

2.Espn

3. Blogger

Top 2 music sites:

1. Pandora

2. Music.yahoo.com

Top 3 Funny sites:

1. FML

2. People of Wal*Mart

3. Damn You Auto Correct

 

Once Upon A Time

Day Fourteen - My Earliest Memory

I don't really remember all that much from when I was REALLY little. But I do remember living across the street from a boy named Zack. We were four days apart, and he liked picking on me. We would always play together, and end up fighting. He would cuss at me, and I'd go to tell my mom and he'd run into his house. We had a love hate relationship. He loved me I hated him. Those are the earliest memories I have. I must have been 4 or 5 when I lived across from him.