Talking To The Moon

It has been a few weeks since I last posted. I won't apologize, because, well it's been a rough month. I've been here for four weeks now. In some ways, they have gone by really fast, but in other ways, it has been the longest four weeks of my life. Let's take a little look back...

When I first got here, it took forever to even sign up for classes. I had so many hoops to jump through before I could even do it. I was feeling pretty down about all of it. My first week was tough. I got a phone call from my sister and she talked me down. She told me about how the first week would be the hardest. At the time, I had to agree. But things got tougher.

Nic started his search for his dream school. He had a number one school on his list, but he's someone who likes to do the research to make sure he doesn't end up where he doesn't want to be. After a few days of research, he decided that he wanted to go to the University of Oregon. I didn't have any influence on his decision. I left him completely alone to make his choice. He decided that he would move there in December and start the winter term at the local community college. So he started working with his dad, doing construction. Working long hours from 7:00am to 6:00pm. By the time he was done working, he would just shut down and watch netflix. Barely texting me. Barely acknowledging my existence. 

Since I had been here, my communication with Nic had been lacking. We FaceTime'd once and talked on the phone once, with sporadic texting thrown in there. He seemed different. Which affected me. I wasn't necessarily questioning our relationship, but I was wondering if we were on the same page after our two week visit, since we never really had time to talk about it after.

About two weeks ago, I brought up the distance. The emotional distance between us. I asked if we were still on the same page, and he told me he didn't feel the same, but stronger since we had met. He loved me and he was happy with me. I let him know that the lack of communication was bothering me, but I promised to be patient while he was working.

The next week, I found out that one of the student loans I was supposed to receive fell through. Over $20,000 of the loan I was supposed to receive fell through. I lost it. I had nobody to talk to. The one person who I'm supposed to be able to count on wouldn't even talk to me. It was to the point where I'd text him, and hear nothing for a couple of days, but he would still post on facebook. To say I was stressed out and not feeling like myself is putting it mildly. I had had enough.

So I reached out to him. I told him we needed to talk about what was going on. I asked if he felt the distance too, and he said yes. I told him about how things just felt different, and I felt no longer like a girlfriend, but more like a dog begging for his attention. He told me we were past the "lovey-dovey" stage and if that's what I wanted, I shouldn't be with him. I let him know that I didn't need the fluffy words, but a relationship.

I opened up completely, letting him know about my issues with my dad. About how I have trouble with relationships/friendships and being afraid they're going to leave me, because the one person who was supposed to love me unconditionally left me without a second glance.

He responded with "I thought you had your shit together." After I poured out my soul. The next thing I know, he's telling me he needs time. Time to think. Alone. I gave him time.

Saturday, while watching the ducks game (ouch), I received a text saying he couldn't do it. I couldn't even get a phone call. He explained that he needed to work on himself, but he wouldn't tell me anything else. He said it wasn't about me, and it wasn't about us, it was about him. He didn't want to talk to anybody. He didn't want to do anything. He was done.

That was the last I heard from him. Other than a facebook post that was directed at me before he deactivated his account. I sent him a message asking for closure. Telling him that when he decided on his own that our relationship needed to end that he made it about me. That I deserved to know what happened. And he posted "You're right, I should change my life and the way I live it to fit YOUR standards. Who cares what I think is best for me."

That's it. I haven't tried communicating with him since Monday. But the crazy thing is, he keeps using my netflix account. I'm thinking maybe I should change my password.

The hardest part about this is he wasn't himself. He hadn't been my Nic since we both left the airport. I kept telling my mom, every time I talked to him that it wasn't us. We weren't being us. And whatever it is that's going on with him, his family doesn't even know about it. So I worry about him. Even though he absolutely crushed my heart, I can't help but worry about him. I still love him, and I miss him terribly.

Not only did I lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend. After the best two weeks of my life, he's just gone. What we had is just gone. Feelings didn't change. Circumstances did, and it hurts so bad. It would be so much easier if he hated me. I try to be so strong, but I miss him every second of everyday. I miss him when I'm happy, because I want to share it with him. I miss him when I'm troubled because he's the one who knows me so well. I miss him when I laugh and when I cry.. because he makes my laughter grow, and he makes my tears stop. I miss him at night when all I can think about are our wonderful memories that we shared.

We were only "together" for four months, but it felt so right with him. We were literally perfect for each other. It was like God made us for each other.

Part of me is hoping and praying that whatever he's going through, he'll see that he didn't need to push me away, that I'd be there for him, and he'll want to try again.

But the other part of me feels pathetic for thinking that's even an option.

So I'm trying to let go. whatever happens, it's for a reason. If we get a second chance, then I'll be forever thankful for that. If we don't, then I'll be thankful for the memories that we do have. He'll always be my first real love. Nobody can take that place. It just hurts, because I thought he was the one.

I miss him.

Day Three

I've hit a lot of speed bumps since I've been here. Last night, I was finally feeling hungry and ready to eat but I couldn't because I didn't have my student ID yet, and apparently you can't pay cash for food in residence dining halls.

Then today, I went to the campus center to get my ID card where I found out that if you're not registered for your classes yet, you can't get an ID card. I wasn't registered yet because they needed my health clearance forms. So I had to find my way to the Health Services Department (which was clear on the other side of campus) turn in the forms, wait for them to clear me so the holds would be off of my account. While I was looking to see if the hold was off my account, I see that I have a hold that was placed today. I found out the hold was because they didn't get my final transcript from COCC. So I called COCC to have that sent over because UH said they would give me a week to get it, and remove the hold so I could register for classes this week, and not miss a whole week of class. When I called COCC, they said I had a hold on my account there which meant I couldn't have my transcript sent. The hold was a fee that I had forgot to pay, so I paid that, and now I'm waiting for the hold to be lifted so I can order my transcript.

After all of that chaos, I'm finally back in my dorm, and I'm registered for my classes! I'm so excited to start school.. ya know, what I actually came here for? Yeah. That. I start tomorrow :) Here are my classes...

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday:

10:30-11:20: Intro To Social Problems
2:30-3:20: Spanish

Tuesday and Thursday:

10:30-11:45: Intro to the World's Major Religions
12:00-1:15: General Chemistry
1:30-2:45: Pre Calculus

My chemistry and pre calc classes are in the same building in the same room! I didn't notice when I registered, but I was looking to see how far I'd have to go in 15 minutes, and it turns out, I don't have to even move! How awesome is that? I'm really optimistic even though today was kind of rough.

I didn't get to talk to Nic at all yesterday, and today I found out it was because his phone was stepped on yesterday when he was playing basketball, so he has no phone as of right now. Awesome for a long distance relationship.. but not really. We got to talk for a couple of hours this morning on facebook, so that was good. I miss him terribly! He's supposed to call me sometime this week.. I can't wait. He kinda talked me out of my grumpy mood when everything was going wrong today. I even said to him that I'm not sure if this is where I'm supposed to be, because all I'm getting is stop signs every where I turn. But now.. after praying, and talking to him and calming down, I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

Hopefully I'll be able to keep up my positive spirit. I'm praying for a STRESS FREE day tomorrow. That would be fantastic. :)

Day Two

I made it through day one, and believe it or not, I'm alive and well! Other than the fact that I keep waking up at 6:00 am. I'll get back to my normal sleep schedule soon enough.

I met two of my three roommates yesterday. They seem pretty cool so far. There's Gemma, the cheerleader from Florida. I mean.. like for real cheerleader. She cheered for USF last year, and I guess has been cheering her whole life, until this year because she was in a bad car accident in March. She's doing physical therapy and hoping to cheer again soon. If you know me at all, you know that I really don't get along with the "cheerleading" type, but I really like Gemma. She was the one who actually got me to eat something, after not eating for almost 48 hours.

Then there's Katrina, who is my actual roommate (we sleep in the same room, opposed to the same dorm). I seriously don't think I could have handpicked a better roommate. She is from Maui, so she's super nice. She gets good grades and cares about school, which means she won't be partying or making lots of noise at night when I need to study. She also was praying that she didn't get a roommate who parties, and she has a long distance boyfriend. He lives in Alabama. So, we're pretty similar. I think this will be a good set up.

I haven't met Nicki yet, but from what Gemma said, she sounds pretty nice. I'll let you know ;)

The best part of yesterday was getting to talk to Nic. I'm having serious Nic withdrawals so that definitely helped with my home sickness. I think I miss him the most. Don't get me wrong, I miss my family and friends.. but I miss my quality time with Nic the most. I really had so much fun with him the last two weeks, and now he's just gone. Back to Michigan. We're planning a visit in December though. So at least we have something to look forward to. That means visiting each other every 4 months.. not as often as I'd like, but it's better than not seeing him. My mom even gave me "permission" to miss Christmas at home if I wanted to spend it with him. That right there blew my mind. But anyways, that's in the works. I'll keep you posted.

The moral of the story is... well I'm not sure. I just know that I'm feeling a lot better today, and I'm ready to start classes tomorrow. :)

I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday!

I Made It

I'm finally in Hawaii. I've been waiting for this day for so long.. and now that I'm finally here...

I'm ready to go home.

I'm not going to, but I'm ready. I'm so incredibly homesick at the moment.. I haven't been able to eat since yesterday morning. And I love food.

It is absolutely beautiful here though. My dorm is nice, I just haven't met my roommates yet. We keep missing each other. I was asleep when they finally came back last night, and they're still sleeping now. We'll get to meet, and I'll probably feel better knowing people. Rather than feeling completely alone, surrounded by people.

I think my biggest problem is that I haven't really had a chance to talk to Nic since I left him at the airport yesterday. He's kind of really good at soothing my emotions.

Speaking of Nic, I had an awesome visit with him. He got to come and stay with me for two weeks, and call me crazy.. but I'm pretty sure they were the best two weeks of my life. He is exactly the person I fell in love with. He's everything I want in a significant other, that I didn't even know I wanted. I feel blessed to have him in my life. He balances me, and I hope I do the same for him. I know that he always has my back, and I always have his. I'm pretty much his biggest fan :) I miss seeing him though. I loved getting to hold his hand and kiss him whenever I wanted. That was pretty wonderful. Just a few more months, and I'll go see him in Michigan. Hopefully. We'll see.

But anyways, I'm alive and well. I dropped off the face of the earth when he was in Oregon with me because I wanted to cherish every moment. But I'm back. And now that I'm not working and only focusing on school, I'm sure I'll have more time to keep you posted. If anyone even reads this anymore. I guess it's more for me anyways, but still.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. <3 br="br">

Holy Cow!

Has it seriously been over a month since I last posted? I apologize. I suck.

That being said, it's almost my birthday! My favorite day of the year! Other than opening day of college football, obviously ;). I seriously can't believe I'm going to be 22.. it's just crazy to think about. So I won't think about it. Getting pedicures with my madre, going out for dinner and probably a movie and hanging with friends. Sounds perfect to me. My brother was supposed to be joining me, but.. well he's a jerk face.

I also have GREAT news! I got my offer for student housing in Hawaii, so I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY going. It's a good thing too, because I trusted in God and bought my plane ticket a few weeks ago. Non refundable and all that junk. So it's good great that I got a place!

I'm so excited to be moving to Hawaii. It ABSOLUTELY blows my mind that in a little over two months I'll be LIVING there! It's insane.. but exciting at the same time. I'm having a little anxiety about leaving my fam though. I had a dream that Kelly had basically replaced me as a bff, and then the next thing I knew, I was holding a newborn, and I dropped him. I picked him up, took him to Kelly and told her "I broke it." I'm pretty sure this dream was from suppressing all of my feelings about moving, and what it means for my relationships. I told Kelly about it, and she keeps telling me not to drop the baby (what I'm assuming stood for our friendship in my dream). Over the last few weeks I had already started to drop the baby.. trying to get used to the idea of not having my people.. but I realize I need my relationships to be as STRONG as ever before I go.. not strained because of my insecurities.

So to recap.. I'm not going to drop the baby, I'm going to share a dorm with 3 other people, it's almost my 22nd birthday, and I suck. That pretty much sums it up.

Hope you have a beautiful weekend! Thanks for reading. <3

Dead Man Walking

I just wanted to check in and let y'all know that I'm alive and well! Well, for the most part. Allergies are kicking my butt, but that just means it's spring! Finally. Hopefully summer isn't too far off!

I've been super busy with school and work and spending as much time with my fam as possible before I head off to Hawaii. It's coming faster than I can even prepare for! I can't believe in less than four months I'll be LIVING there. It boggles my brain. Mike asks me every time I see him if I've changed my mind yet. I haven't.

My mom's 50th birthday party is tomorrow. Weekends aren't known for sleeping for me, and this weekend definitely won't be the exception to the rule. I have work until six.. I'll try to get a nap in.. class at 10, the girls game after that, then my grandma should be getting into town (it's a surprise!) and then the party! Followed by work, followed by 7-12:30 for church. I have a crazy busy weekend ahead of me, and I won't be surprised if I sleep for 20 hours Sunday night. 

Even though I have all of this chaos, I feel extremely blessed. I have an amazing mom who I get to celebrate tomorrow. I haven't seen my grandma since November and I'm really excited to see her. I get to sing with an awesome worship team who loves Jesus as much as I do! I get to worship my God with the gift He gave me. It really doesn't get much better than that. 

So I'll try to stay caught up a little better, but I can't make any promises. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am alive and kicking! :) Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

P.S. It was over 70 degrees today! ALMOST Hawaii weather! :)

It's Ok

It's been a while since I've linked up with Neely and Amber, but you know what?

It's ok.

It's also okay...

That I messed up writing my schedule down and totally missed work on Tuesday and came in today when I wasn't supposed to work. Really, it's okay. I'm not in trouble.

That I almost prefer the week because I get to sleep like a normal human being (mostly).

That I'm dreading the next three days, even though I love Easter. I work tomorrow night after a day of classes then going to a movie, then after work I have classes from 10-3 and will get maybe 4 hours of sleep before I have to go to work again, which will be followed by singing at church and not sleeping until Sunday night. Yikes!

That I want to read the Hunger Games after watching the movie. You don't get to judge me for that.

That I'm watching Titanic in 3D with my friends just to be able to see Titanic on the big screen again.

To laugh uncontrollably while watching The Hot Chick. Rob Schneider was amazing in that movie!

To be waiting impatiently for a package to arrive in the mail.. I can't tell you what it is though!

To dream about being in the 78 degree Hawaii weather rather than the snow I'm in now. 

To feel a little sad about leaving behind everybody I know and love to go off on a big adventure.

To cry like a baby over One Tree Hill.. not because the finale was amazing, but because it means the show is really over.

To wish.. somehow.. that they'd start over with Jamie as the new Nathan of the show. 

What's OK with you today?

I'll Keep You My Dirty Little Secret

Isn't this a fun little link up I found? 

I'm a day late, but hey.. I work graveyard. Cut me some slack.

We all have dirty little secrets that we need to come clean with...

My Secret(s)

Other than when I went to Hawaii for a week.. I haven't shaved my legs since October. That's what happens when you live in Oregon and winter takes over.

I don't drink coffee for the caffeine. I drink it for the taste. And when I say "coffee" I mean chocolate with a hint of coffee.

I wear sweats to work. I work graveyard so nobody sees me, but I wouldn't be caught dead in the outfits I wear in public. I'd die.

I don't swear in front of people. But when I'm in the car and people piss me off, I have the worst potty mouth. And of course, everybody (but me) is a TERRIBLE driver. Obviously.

I feel much better now. What dirty little secrets are you hiding?

Crash Into Me

January 21st 2012 I was in my first car accident. If you want to call it that. It was a Saturday around noon and I was on my way to work. I noticed that the van in front of me had really dim brake lights, but I didn't really think to pay extra attention because of that.

We were coming up to a traffic light and apparently the light turned red (there was a big truck in front of the van in front of me) so the guy in the van slammed on his brakes and I did as well. I ended up sliding into him anyways. Not very hard.. Barely bumped the guy.

We pulled into a parking lot up the street a bit. First words out of my mouth were "I've never been in an accident, so I don't really know what to do." He said, "Well, let's look at the damage." We looked at his van, which was pretty beat up, from a previous accident, I'm sure because I didn't hit him THAT hard. Then we looked at my bumper.. not a scratch.

He told me he didn't want to go through the police and insurance companies. I agreed, because.. well I was stupid, and I was so shaken I would have agreed to about anything. He told me he wanted $250 for a new bumper though. I told him I didn't have it at the time, but when I did I'd give him a call.

We exchanged information, and parted ways. After the accident I called my mom. She told me I handled it wrong, but I'll know better next time. She also said the guy probably doesn't have insurance and that's why he wants to do it under the table. She said I wasn't going to give him a dime and if he called to let her talk to him. He called a month later, but I was working so he left a voicemail. That was the last I heard of him.

Fast forward another month, and I got a phone call from a police officer and his insurance agent on the same day. I was working so I got voicemails. After about two seconds, I knew what they were both about. But I was definitely shocked to be getting a phone call from the police.

I called and spoke with the officer the next morning. I told him everything that happened (even the details I probably didn't need to tell him) and when I finished he told me that the guy I hit had tried to make it seem like a hit and run. The cop told me that he believed me, and he hadn't believed the guy when he originally told him it was a hit and run. So there are no criminal charges being pressed against me. Good thing.

Then I called and spoke with his insurance agent, who was extremely nice and said he was trying so hard to get a hold of me because his client was [basically] crazy. But apparently, the "accident" has aggravated previous injuries, so now he's claiming I injured him. So, I got off the phone with him and called my insurance company to let them know what happened. Now I'm playing the waiting game. But I'm just seriously discouraged with the human race and how someone can be so bored/angry/bitter that they would make up lies just to get money.

So, that's what's been going on in my neck of the woods. When it gets all figured out, I'll let you know. 

You Found Me

• 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? 
• If we got married... no, not even then.
• 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? 
• Wrong
• 3. Have you taken someones virginity? 
• That would be pretty hard to do, seeing as how I'm a virgin, myself.
• 4. Is trust a big issue for you? 
• I'm always good at trusting people off the bat. If you are dishonest with me though I'll forgive, but it'll take a while to earn my trust back.
• 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? 
• Nope. I don't particularly like anybody at the moment.
• 6. What are you excited for? 
• My birthday (hey, it's in 2 months!), the birth of my nephew, Hawaii, and spending as much time with my "fam" as possible.
• 7. What happened tonight? 
• I worked all stinkin' night. Not cute.
• 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
• I really think it's disgusting when anybody gets really wasted. Not attractive at all.
• 9. Is confidence cute?
• Cute? Eh. I think it's definitely a plus. Some people are confident in different things about themselves, it doesn't always show on the surface. 
• 10. What is the last beverage you had? 
• Mountain Dew. Not a normal drink for me, but I was REALLY tired tonight!
• 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 
• I FULLY trust two people of the opposite sex. My brother and my hermano. 
• 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? 
• No. Don't ever plan to, either. I think they're ugly.
• 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? 
• I do the same thing every Saturday night.. Work!
• 14. What are you going to spend money on next? 
• Gas. I'm going to need to buy some tomorrow. 
• 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
• Nope.
• 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? 
• I hope so. I like to think I'm constantly changing. Always bettering myself. 
• 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? 
• Kelly. She's my soul mate. In a non lesbian way. Someone once told me that your soulmate doesn't have to be someone you're in love with, but your other half that you can't live without. She's that.
• 18. The last time you felt broken? 
• It's been a while.
• 19. Have you had sex today?
• Nope. Not going to either. 
• 20. Are you starting to realize anything? 
• That I really don't have anything figured out.
• 21. Are you in a good mood? 
• I am :)
• 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
• I tried to when I was in Hawaii!! The bus system failed us though and it didn't happen! :(
• 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? 
• My dad's eyes are more hazel, and mine are more green. But they're definitely closer to my dads color than my moms.
• 24. What do you want right this second? 
• To be off work. But I'm not, so I'm here with you <3
• 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? 
• Eh, I'm not in middle school. I'm a grown woman.
• 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 
• Well.. it's dyed my natural color.. I want to let it fade to my dark brown color.
• 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? 
• Probably not. Laughter is something I do everyday. No joke. 
• 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? 
• Something I saw on Tumblr. 
• 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? 
• I really, truly miss a lot of people right now. 
• 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? 
• Jesus thinks so, so do I.
• 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? 
• I honestly don't "hate" anybody, but no.. I don't dislike him either.
• 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? 
• I don't really have feelings for anybody.
• 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? 
• No, but I could easily live without drinking soda. 
• 34. Listening to? 
• John Mayer's pandora station. "Dreaming with a broken heart" is playing right now.
• 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 
• Yes, for school.
• 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? 
• Nope.
• 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
• I can't say I do because I haven't experienced it.. but I can't say no because I haven't experienced it. 
• 38. Who did you last call? 
• Insurance agent... long story.
• 39. Who was the last person you danced with?
• Gosh.. I don't even know the answer to this!
• 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? 
• So many kissing questions.
• 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
• Christmas
• 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
• No.. I need to hug my mommy more. 
• 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? 
• Duh. Isn't that what girls do?
• 44. Do you tan in the nude? 
• Hahahahaha... no.
• 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? 
• Blah blah blah
• 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? 
• I did not. I didn't fall asleep until 7 this morning. Nobody else is an insomniac like me, so I'm alone all night. 
• 47. Who was the last person to call you? 
• Insurance agent 
• 48. Do you sing in the shower?  
• Yes
• 49. Do you dance in the car? 
• Haha.. yes. I'm a car dancer. Remember the show "Motor Mouth"? I would have been very entertaining on that show. 
• 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? 
• Yes, yes I have. I was raised in Eastern Oregon.. if you're not taught how to use a bow and arrow.. well.. you're just not right!
• 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 
• Do school pictures count?
• 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? 
• Most of them are. But sometimes we need a little cheesiness in our lives.
• 53. Is Christmas stressful?
• Only if you make it what it's not. If you celebrate it for the right reasons, there's no reason to stress. <3
• 54. Ever eat a pierogi? 
• Honestly don't even know what that is. 
• 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? 
• Um.. does pumpkin pie count? Not much of a pie girl.
• 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? 
• Teacher or a nurse.. one of them stuck. 
• 57. Do you believe in ghosts? 
• Eh.. I'm mixed about this!
• 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? 
• Yes!!! 
• 59. Take a vitamin daily? 
• I have vitamins, but I never take them. I should probably get on that. 
• 60. Wear slippers? 
• I used to.. dog ate them though. 
• 61. Wear a bath robe? 
• Never. 
• 62. What do you wear to bed?
• Tanktop and shorts. 
• 63. First concert? 
• Don't laugh... America.
• 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
• I shop at Wal-mart the most. It's closest to home. 
• 65. Nike or Adidas? 
• I wanna say Nike because I'm a duck fan (and let's be honest, we are Nike U) but I like Adidas more. Always have.
• 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? 
• Cheese-toes as I call them. 
• 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? 
• Ranch flavored Sunflower seeds during baseball/softball season.. nothing better!
• 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
• Safe and Sound ft. The Civil Wars
• 69. Ever take dance lessons? 
• Well, not official lessons, but in my cultural diversity class in high school we learned a lot of different dances.
• 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
• Professional football player? Hey a girl can dream, right? ;)
• 71. Can you curl your tongue? 
• Sure can.
• 72. Ever won a spelling bee?
• No.. when I was younger I was terrible at spelling. 
• 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? 
• This is a stupid question. Who hasn't?
• 74. What is your favorite book? 
• Eh, I have too many.
• 75. Do you study better with or without music?
• I probably actually study better without it, but I can't stand silence so I wouldn't know. 
• 76. Regularly burn incense?
• No.. I don't smoke weed. Lol
• 77. Ever been in love?
• Yes.
• 78. Who would you like to see in concert?
• Jason Mraz, Maroon 5, Michael Buble, John Mayer, The Fray, OneRepublic, Dashboard Confessional, Rascal Flatts, Def Leppard, Journey.. list goes on and on. (Apparently I like only male artists!)
• 79. What was the last concert you saw? 
• REO Speedwagon
• 80. Hot tea or cold tea? 
• Ice Tea
• 81. Tea or coffee?
• Coffee.. but only with tons of creamer!
• 82. Favorite type of cookie? 
• Snickerdoodle. 
• 83. Can you swim well? 
• I can!
• 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? 
• I can, but I always get a massive headache when I do. Or my nose bleeds. Either is no bueno. 
• 85. Are you patient? 
• I can be.
• 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
• I'll want a DJ. I wouldn't want a band butchering my favorite songs.. no offense. 
• 87. Ever won a contest? 
• Umm... I don't think so!
• 88. Ever have plastic surgery?
• Nope!
• 89. Which are better black or green olives?
• Black!
• 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
• I'm waiting. 
• 91. Best room for a fireplace? 
• Other than the family room? Bedroom. Duh.
• 92. Do you want to get married? 
• I would LOVE to get married some day <3

Busy Bee

I'm really sad that spring break is almost over. It was way too short! I did absolutely nothing and loved every minute of it!

My schedule this coming quarter is going to be insane. Especially since my boss just asked me if I wanted more hours and I said yes.

This is what my schedule is going to look like..

Monday: Classes from 1:45-7:45
Tuesday: Work 2-10
Wednesday: Classes from 1:45-7:45
Thursday: Work 2-10
Friday: Microbiology lab from 12:45-2:30 followed by work from 10:00-6:00
Saturday: (after being up all night) Classes 10:15-3:45 followed by work 10:00-6:00
Sunday: Official day of rest. Minus the actual resting so I can sleep Sunday night.

Not exactly sure what I was thinking. The worst part of it all is everyday that I have class or work (everyday but SUNDAY!) I have to drive 90 total miles.

But it's only for a season, and I'm blessed to have a job when so many are without one right now! So I'm thankful. But I will be needing all the caffeine I can get!! Feel free to send starbucks gift cards my way ;)

To whom it may concern

 

The Civil Wars

This song pretty much sums it up. 

I'm still waiting for the one God has for me.

He's out there somewhere...

And I'm still patiently waiting. <3

(I wrote the lyrics in my journal and made it pretty using the pixlromatic app)

No Such Thing

I wanna run through the halls of my high school

I wanna scream at the top of my lungs

I just found out there's no such thing as the real world

Just a lie you've got to rise above.

It would be just plain silly for me to jump into a relationship right now. REALLY silly. I'm moving to Hawaii in less than five months. The guy that I'm interested is moving to Houston in May to finish school. So if we WERE to start a relationship (we'd have what, one real month together?) I'd have to find time to come home to Oregon to visit AND Houston. That would be absolutely crazy. 

It's a shame though, he's a really great guy. He makes me feel special and I haven't felt that way in a LONG time. Not that that's what relationships should be based on, it's just a plus. He wants to try a long distance relationship, but I'm just not willing to at this point. I'm moving to Hawaii, and I want to experience Hawaii. The last thing I need is to stay at home every night to talk on the phone when I should be out making friends and enjoying the rest of college. Plus he's white.. not that there's anything wrong with that.. but I really am 100x more attracted to brown guys. But you already know that (Karey, I'm talking to YOU!). I guess I'm just confused. I don't want to jump into anything because I'm "lonely" when I know for a fact I'm not ready for a relationship. I've basically made my decision, I just needed to vent it out. 

Side note: Pandora is really weird. I have my John Mayer station playing and it just played "Animal" by Def Leppard. Nothing near John Mayer.. but I'm not complaining.. I love me some Def Leppard ;)

One Tree Hill 3/14/2012

I'm a little late.. but it's better late than never!

I was babysitting (more like hanging out with my bff's kiddos) on Wednesday and the show was on in the middle of getting them ready for bed. So I had little (not really THAT little, he's 10) H watching with me while he was waiting for the shower to become vacant. It was kinda fun watching with someone.

First off, I called EVERYTHING that was going to happen. I just have to say, I'm that good. You could even ask H. He told me I like that show too much because I was predicting everything.

SPOILER*

When "Nathan" got shot and it showed him, I was literally yelling "IT'S NOT NATHAN! THAT'S NOT HIM! IT'S NOT HIM, HE HAS THE HOOD ON!"

I knew that Dan was going to get shot.. you're not really a hero unless you get shot (on tv anyways).

I knew that Julian would come and save the day. When the bad cop was standing there I told H "Julian will come.. he has to. Julian will save Nathan! He couldn't just leave!" Gotta love Julian being a big tough guy.. though I do miss his girly high-five!

And with Brooke.. AHH! I knew she would be okay, but seriously, I had a pit in my stomach. When he finally got her again, I knew the b*tch would save her. I told H that blondie would be there.. anytime now, she'll be there!

So I'm glad Nathan is finally okay.. but I REALLY wanted to see him reunited with Haley THEN! Now Brooke can finally get peace and not worry about psycho coming to get her. And Dan? I wonder if he'll make it. Maybe he'll be the dramatic death and that will bring all of the original cast back to Tree Hill. I'm really hoping we get to see Peyton and Lucas. Or at least more of Lucas than the 5 minutes at the airport. Oh, and Skills calling Mouth his "chubby buddy".. freakin' awesome!

I'm so terribly sad that this show is ending. I feel like my friends are moving away or something. It's a weird feeling. I love that stupid show.

Love

My heart is broken tonight.

I can't get into the details.. it's far too personal for someone I deeply care about, and it's not my business to share.

But I just have to say.. think about what you're saying to someone before you say it. You never know if your harsh words are going to send someone over the edge. You never know how deep those words cut someone who already believes those negative things about themselves.

I don't know when it became okay to judge people so harshly. It breaks my heart that people are being hurt so badly that they don't have anywhere to turn. They have nowhere to go. No safe place. Nobody to tell them just how amazing they are.

Be that person. Never miss a chance to tell someone how beautiful they are. Never miss the opportunity to tell someone how IMPORTANT they are. You might just be the voice that they've been longing to hear.

Love. Whether you believe in God or not, we, as humans, are called to LOVE. It's what we're made for. So love on each other. Please.

<3

Dad

I hate it that everybody thinks that my stepdad is my dad. Not that I don't love Scotty, because I really do, he's been wonderful to my family. But I hate that NOBODY who has come into my life within the last six years knows my real dad. I mean really, I've seen him once since I was sixteen. And though we haven't had the best relationship, he's my dad. It kills me.. It really does. He moved back to Oregon at the end of January (granted he's still a good 6 hours from here) so hopefully I'll be able to see him once or twice before moving to Hawaii. My mom is wanting to throw a going away party for me before I leave for Hawaii.. So I'm hoping he'll be able to set aside his differences with my mom and show up for me. At the very least I would like my best friend and her family meet my dad. It's kinda crazy thinking that they haven't yet.

In other words, my heart breaks a little every time someone calls Scotty my dad. Even though that's exactly what he's been to me since I was sixteen years old.

Confession Time

Sometimes you just have to get some things off of your chest. This is one of those times.

I confess...

That I only get on this blog when I'm working. I have so much going on during the week, and, well.. it's just something I've accepted.

That I sometimes go to complain about something on facebook. About how crappy my day was or how something pissed me off, but I [almost] always delete it without posting at all. I get so annoyed with the negative people, why would I want to be one?

I almost deleted someone from facebook because I'm tired of the fakeness. But just a few months ago I asked her why she had deleted me randomly and she added me back, so I kinda feel bad, but if I don't delete her I'll say something I shouldn't. It's better to just get that temptation out of the way right?

I stay awake better during my graveyard shift than my day shift now. In fact, three of the last four nights, I was up until at least 5:00 am. THAT'S not going to work.

I signed up for an aerobics dancersize class at school because I wanted a for sure work out at least twice a week for 2 hours. Since I've been feeling especially lazy lately.

When I watch what I eat, I never eat enough. I'm always WAY under on what I should be eating. I just can't win!

I'm taking Microbiology, Anatomy and Physiology III, more math, possibly a nutrition class and my dancercize class next term. Two words: HOLY CRAP! I'm kinda hoping I don't get the nutrition class after all!

Last Sunday was the first time in weeks that I stayed through the whole sermon at church. I've been doing worship team.. after staying up all night, so it's nothing against our pastor. :D

I haven't seen my grandma or my brother since November. I'm missing them terribly.

I'm afraid my best friend and I will drift apart when I move.

I'm excited to go to a new place. I'm excited to be forced out of my comfort zone and meet new people.

But I wish I could take my favorite people with me! <3

Random

I'm bored at work and I don't really feel like watching Dexter yet, so this is what you get!

Personal
1.) How are you?
I'm wonderful. I'm feeling NO pain at the moment, and I'm LOVING it.


2.) What kind of phone do you own?
 I own a [white] iPhone 4
 
3.) Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Believe it or not, no. I'm happy with who I am.

4.) What is your entire name?
Brittany Nichole Cleveland. 
 
5.) How old are you?
Twenty-one years young.
 
6.) Age you get mistaken for:
Oh gosh, there are so many different ages. Some people think I'm 15, some think I'm in my mid-twenties. 
 
7.) Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:
Gemini. And I'm not sure.. I think they set these things up so that it could really fit anybody. My personality fits a bunch of the other signs, but it's whatever. It's fun to read sometimes. 


8.) What did you do on your last birthday?
I had dinner with my family, went to a few bars and enjoyed my first alcoholic beverages, then went and got a tattoo on my foot the next day :)


9.) What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?
That's in 3 months.. I'd like to have a lot of money saved up for moving to Hawaii. <3

10.) What is your hair color?
Dark brown. The box called it "soft black" but it has faded back to dark brown.. my natural color. 


11.) Have you ever dyed your hair?
Too many times to count. I hadn't dyed it since right before my high school graduation, but I got highlights last summer, and then I got sick of the blonde and went back to my natural color a few months ago.


12.) What is your eye color?
Green. 

13.) If you could change your eye color, would you?
Not a chance. I'm in the 2% of people with green eyes. :)


14.) Do you wear contacts/glasses?
Nope. 15/20 in both eyes baybee. My dad still has perfect vision, so I'm hoping that my eyes do the same!

18.) Do you have any tattoos?
I have three. And I love them all, and don't regret getting them.


19.) Do you have any piercings?
I have seven. Six are in my ears, one in my nose.


20.) Left or right handed?
Right handed.

21.) What’s your sexual orientation?
I am straight. 
 
22.) Do you drink?
Occasionally, but I rarely have more than one drink. 


23.) Do you smoke?
Nope, and I never will. 


24.) Do you have any pets?
I technically have two cats, but one of them adopted my step-dad, so just one. My Uno kitty.. that's his name.. Uno.


25.) Where do you work?
I work at a call center making reservations for hotels. 


26.) Something you are working on right now:
Saving up for Hawaii.
Getting a degree.
Losing lbs.


27.) Do you have any “rules” about food?
Not really. I refuse to eat sugar free or lite syrup though. That's like the one thing I won't do.. ever. It's gross.


28.) Where are you from?
The beautiful state of Oregon. <3
 
29.) What would you say is your best quality?
I'm very compassionate. I always give second chances. And I'm just a kind spirit. Plus I'm funny as heck ;) 


30.) What do you think you’re really good at?
Singing, texting (haha), making people laugh, being a friend, rooting for my ducks!
 
31.) What do you think you’re really bad at?
I would usually say Math, but I'm good now! I'm bad at using my time wisely.. I'm very good at wasting time :)


33.) Are you a bad person?
I like to think I'm a good person, but I guess everybody has their own opinion of me. 


34.) Are you nice to everyone?
I can't say everyone. There are people I have been nasty to, and I hate that I do it, but some people just rub me the wrong way. 


36.) Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
In middle school me and Alicia were "lesbians" because we were best friends and we had every class together. Other than that, no.. I got along with everybody so I never had too many issues.


37.) What is your ideal bed? Why?
My ideal bed? Um.. one that I can sleep on and wake up refreshed! A big bed would be nice.. even though I don't stretch out at all.. haha


38.) Did you wake up cranky?
No.. I actually woke up pretty refreshed. After working all night and eating a nice breakfast, I finally went to sleep at 7:30 and didn't wake up until 3:30. It was perfect.


39.) Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
I haven't since I was 16.. I gave my "Ellifont" (yellow elephant) to the guy I was dating, and he never gave her back.


40.) What do you think about the most?
I don't know.. I think about a lot of things. My future, my friends, my family, my past, my present, my relationship with God, things I need to do before I move away.. etc.


42.) What you want to be when you “get older”?
I want to be a nurse. I want to be a wife, and a mother.. I want to be a good example of what serving God looks like. 


43.) What are your career goals?
Well, I want to get a masters degree in nursing, but I haven't decided what I want to specialize in.. probably something to do with kids, or the ICU.. 


44.) What is your ideal career?
Being a nurse, of course. I used to dream of being a news anchor on ESPN. That would be amazing, but I'm too introverted to do that!


45.) Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
I still have the same best friend.. other than that, no. I've grown a lot.. a LOT.


46.) Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Only one particular thing.. something I regret. I replay how it could have been if I would have done everything differently. 

47.) Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
I pretended like I did.. I felt like everybody else did, so I totally faked it.. it lasted about a day. 

48.) Say 10 facts about your room:
It needs to be cleaned. I have a night stand next to my bed that has one little corner cleaned off for a glass of water. I have a few duck posters on my walls. I have inspirational quotes on my walls. I have a tv. I have a bookcase with over 100 books that I've read. I have a full size bed. I have a sheet over my window right now (graveyard shift.. gotta get that melatonin!). The walls are white. My closet is clean for how messy the rest of my room is. 


49.) Do you have any phobias?
I'm afraid of mascots, birds, moths, snakes, spiders, snot, and of fictional murders that are supposedly after me every night that I work graveyard. 
 
50.) Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
When I was younger.. my whole family had to see a therapist. 


51.) Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
Pretty sure it's grass or pollen or both. And possibly percocet. 
 
52.) Ever broken any bones?
*Knocks on wood* No.


53.) Ever come close to death?
Well, when I had my gallbladder taken out, it was an emergency surgery.. the doctor said if my gallbladder had been ripped open (which was starting to happen), I would have been poisoned.. so I guess yes? But God had my back, so no. 
 
60.) Do you have a facebook?
I do, indeed.


61.) Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
Obviously. Isn't that what facebook is for? ;)
 
62.) Describe yourself in one word/sentence:
One of a kind.
 
63.) A quote you try to live by:
"Sometimes I want to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it, but I'm afraid He might just ask me the same question." 


64.) A famous person you’ve been compared to:
Nobody.

65.) Weird things you do when you’re alone:
I talk to inanimate objects, sing really loud and obnoxiously, talk to animals.. haha.
 
66.) Something you do without realising:
I make funny faces.. jiggle my lets.. click a pen if it's in my hand and I'm distracted..


68.) Someone you’d like to be for a day and why:
Uno.. I'd like to know what goes through his mind. :-P


69.) Leave yourself a compliment:
There is only one of you out there, and that makes you pretty special. <3


Favorites

70.) What is your favorite thing to do?
Watch ducks football.. or ducks anything, for that matter.. spend time with my fam, hang out at the pool.


71.) What’s your favorite color?
Green, yellow, blue. I'm a girl, I'm indecisive. 

72.) What is your least favorite color?
Orange and purple.  
 
73.) What’s your favorite movie?
Again with the indecisiveness.. Elf, Friday Night Lights, Remember the Titans, The Hangover, Horrible Bosses, Moulin Rouge, The Notebook, He's Just Not That Into You, The Strangers, Moneyball.


74.) What are your favorite books?
 Red by Erica Spindler.

75.) What is your favorite quote and why?
"I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see." Pretty obvious. 


76.) What is your favorite word?
Um... I don't really have a favorite word. 


77.) What is your least favorite word?
Any racial slurs. I hate them and they make me cringe on the inside.
 
78.) What is your favorite type of food?
I like tacos.. so Mexican?


79.) Your favorite ice cream?
Chocolate Peanut Butter by Umpqa.. people who don't live in the northwest are MISSING OUT!


80.) What’s your favorite animal?
Elephants!
 
81.) Dogs or cats?
Dogs, but I love my kitty.


82.) Describe your favorite texture:
Umm.. that's a weird question. I don't have one.


83.) What is your favorite flower?
I love yellow roses.   
84.)What’s your favorite scent?
Light Blue perfume.. mmm
 
85.) What is your favorite season?
Fall! Football season starts and baseball season gets good!!


86.) What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?
Italy, Australia, New York with my mom (even though I've already been there), Bora Bora, Ireland.


87.) What are four things you can’t live without and why?
My family, my bible, my phone, and indoor plumbing. 


88.) Which mythological creature are you most like?
The kind that doesn't answer dumb questions like this :D

89.) What’s your favorite television show?
Tie between Grey's Anatomy and One Tree Hill. 


90.)Favorite place to shop at?
I hate shopping.. so I don't really have a favorite. 
 
91.) Say 2 facts about your favorite things:
My ducks are getting freakishly good, and hanging out with the fam (my friends that are close enough to be family) doing nothing makes me the happiest. 


Friends

106.) Would you ever smile at a stranger?
I do it all the time, actually.
 
107.) Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
Whoever doesn't bring the drama. 
 
108.) Who is someone you never tire of?
Kelly
 
109.) Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
Yep, Mike and Kelly. 


110.) Who is your most loyal friend?
Kelly <3


111.) Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
My brother. I honestly tell him more than I tell anybody else.
 
112.) If your best friend died, what would you do?
I don't even want to think about that. I can't imagine losing her. 


113.) Something you’ve lied about.
How I’m feeling.

114.) Have you ever felt replaced?
Yeah.. I get sad when I think about moving away because I don't want to lose my best friend.


115.) Say 5 facts about your bestfriend:
She's JUST like me.
She's a good mom. 
She's a role model to me.
She's HILARIOUS.. (I DID say she's just like me;))
She's beautiful.. inside and out.


Relationships

116.) The last person you hugged?
Mike.

117.) Story of your first kiss?
About that...


118.) Do you like kissing in public?
Eh, I'm undecided.


119.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yeah.

120.) You have a preference for boys or girls?
Boys only. 


121.) Is the male or female body closest to perfection?
Neither. 


127.) What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
Smile. It used to be eyebrows.. haha.


128.) Are looks important in a relationship?
I mean, I would prefer to be with someone I think is attractive, but sometimes a personality can make a beautiful person ugly and an ugly person beautiful. So looks aren't THAT important.
 
129.) What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
I like boys with a darker skin color than me. It's just what I'm attracted to. Everybody knows this about me.


130.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
I think if you're of consenting age, then it shouldn't matter. 


131.) Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
Who knows. That's how my mom met my step-dad. They're perfect for each other.. so never say never.
 
133.) Do you have a crush on anyone?
Actually, no. Not at all. 


134.) A description of the girl/boy you like:
I don't like anybody.


135.) Say 1 fact about the person you like:
I don't like anybody. Sheesh.


136.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
Go for it, cause I don't like you, fool. 


137.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
When I left for work.


138.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?
Haha I have no idea! Probably not. 


139.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Well, I'm texting someone right now, so yes. 


140.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
Oh yeah.
 
141.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
Again.. oh yeah. 


142.) Anyone you’re giving up on?
Someone I should give up on. Just haven't quite yet. Getting there though. 


143.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
Yeah.. I dated a rancher.. totally not my type. Haha
 
144.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
No.. opposite kinda happened though.. I introduced a guy to my friends, they liked him and I realized I didn't. 


145.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
Back in middle school, yes.


146.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
Yep, obviously that worked out well.


147.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
Yes. In a heartbeat.

148.) Is there someone you will never forget?
Definitely.

153.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
Prayed for me when I wasn't feeling well. 


154.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
Propose to me at Autzen Stadium... lol
 
157.)Are you in love?
Heck no. 


158.) Are you in a relationship?
Not at the moment.


159.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
...


160.) Are relationships ever worth it?
Of course. We're built for relationships.


161.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
Nope. I'm not dating/talking to anybody.


162.) Can you commit to one person?
Yep.


163.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
Definitely.
 
164.) Do you ever want to get married?
I really do.
 
165.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
I would like to, but I have no idea.

166.) Do you think you'll make a good spouse?
Yes.. I think I'll be a really good wifey. 

167.) Do you get jealous easily?
Nope. 
 
168.) The last time you felt jealous, and why?
Umm.. I honestly can't remember. 


169.) What is your definition of cheating?
Cheating can be physical and it can be emotional. 


170.) Have you ever been cheated on?
Yep.

171.) Do you forgive betrayal?
It really depends on the situation. I always forgive, but I don't always give second chances. 

172.) Have you ever cheated on someone?
Nope.

173.) Why did your last relationship fail?
It never really got started.


174.) Things you want to say to an ex:
Absolutely nothing. 


175.) A description of the person you dislike the most:
I don't really dislike anybody. Honestly. That may make me sound like I'm too nice or something, but it's the truth.


176.) If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
Pretty sure I'd faint. No joke.


177.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
Two boyfriends. No girlfriends.


178.) How long was your longest relationship?
Too long.


179.) You’ll love me if…
You like a laid back girl who loves sports and has a big heart. And if you like to laugh ;)
 
180.) Share a relationship story:
Nah, I'm all set.


Music, movies and books

181.) How often do you listen to music?
All the freakin' time. If there's silence, I turn on music. I can't do it. 


182.) What kind of music you like?
Pretty much everything. My ipod is so random!


183.) Do you like to dance?
Do I like to? Yes. Am I good? No.
 
185.) Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Actually, yes. I found a cd I made when I was 16.. brought back a LOT of memories!


186.) Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:
I'll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men.. Haha it was the first song I slow danced with a boy to. It was terrible though. I didn't like the kid, my friends made me do it, and he wiped the sweat on his face off on my hand. It's a funny memory though.. especially with that song playing. Who plays that at a middle school dance? Seriously.


187.) A song that’s been stuck in your head:
Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional.


188.) Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:
Cookie Jar by Gym Class Heroes 
Runaway by Love & Theft
Take My Hand by Shawn McDonald
In Those Jeans by Ginuwine
Beautiful Lord by Leeland
Broken Strings by James Morrison
When I'm With You by Sherriff
Making Memories of Us by Keith Urban
Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts
Rocketeer by Far East Movement
(Told you my music taste is RANDOM)
 
189.) A book you want to read/have recently read:
I want to read Water For Elephants.. I watched the movie and loved it so I bet the book is amazing as well. 


190.) Describe your dream library:
Filled with books that will better me as a person. And tons of romance novels. :-P I'm a sap for a good love story.


191.) Last movie you just watched:
Scream 4.. lol


192.) Do you like watching what type of movies?
I like horror, thriller, comedies, romantic comedies, inspirational, action. Pretty much ANYTHING. I love movies almost as much as I love music. 


Situations and crazy things

193.) You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done?
Something I've though long and hard about. 


194.) What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?
Fighting for my family. 


195.) If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?
Hmm.. that's a great question. Haha Kelly and I joke about wanting to be Bella (but it's a joke). I honestly don't know. 


196.) You’re given $10,000…under one condition: you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to?
Easy. I'd give it to my mom. 


197.) If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
I'd be honest with the one person I regret losing. 


198.) If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?
I'd be potassium. Because K=potassium and that just doesn't make any sense. :-P


199.) If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
My 9th grade year. I was horribly depressed. I'd like to wipe out the grades I got in school that year too.. lol.


200.) You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?
Super strength. And I'd say "You're goin' down suckaaaa!"


201.) If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?
It would be without rollercoasters. They freak me out.


202.) What is the first curse word that comes to mind?
Oh, I shouldn't type that here. It's come out of my mouth too much recently. I need to stop. 


203.) What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be…
Um.. New Years eve? And probably my mommy's 50th Birthday. I'm not a party girl.


204.) Halloween costume idea?
I don't dress up for halloween.


205.) How you’d spend ten thousand bucks?
Student loans. Duh!


206.) What does your last text say?
"Check the dermatones." While talking about my pinched nerve.


207.) Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years or someone you hate for a month? 
Someone I hate for a month. Maybe I could learn to like them.

208.) 5 things within touching distance:
My phone. My purse. The keyboard (obviously). My dutch bros coffee. A knife (hey.. I get freaked out here by myself!). Work phone.


209.) A drunken story:
Don't have any. I got a little tipsy on my birthday because I wanted to go home and my brother didn't so he told me if I finished my drink before he finished his beer we could go. He had like an inch left of his and my cup was almost full. So I chugged it. Bad idea.. I think he did it on purpose. I won though, so I got to go home and sleep. 


210.) What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Working.. but I am. Just not getting any phone calls. Who makes hotel reservations at 1:15 in the morning?!


211.) Currently wanting to see anyone?
Yeah, I want to see my brother and my grandma!


212.) Why you follow me?
I no follow you!


213.) Now what are you going to do?
Post this then probably watch Dexter!!