Just One of Those Days

I really don't like it when people complain. There is so much to be thankful for, so why complain about the little things?

Now forget everything I just said. Today sucks. I talk on the phone for hours for my job. I deal with many different types of people. Today was the day from hell. I recieved my first official complaint. Kind of.

So we have some hotels that have condos for sale.. I was speaking with a lady and she said she was interested in buying a condo, so I let her know that I would have to transfer her to the hotel for that because all I'm allowed to do is book rooms. She was transferred, all was good. They decided to transfer her back to me. And the woman I spoke with the second time seemed to be a possessed version of the first woman. She went on and on about how I don't know how to do my job, blah blah blah... So on and so forth. I gave her some options for what she could do to look into buying a condo. That's when she cussed me out. I let her know if she didn't start talking like an adult I would be forced to hang up the phone. She didn't stop, so I hung up. After thanking her for calling and telling her to have a good day, of course.

But all of that makes me wonder... What on earth makes people think they can treat others that way? Maybe I was just brought up to respect people more than her, but that was ridiculous. She was a grown woman throwing a tantrum. I was not at all impressed. I hope I NEVER think it's okay to treat someone like that.

WILW

I'm linking up with Jamie again for WILW

Here's what I'm loving on this beautiful Wednesday:

I'm Loving... That this is my last working day and then I'm on a five day vacation.

We (Kelly and I) decided that we're going to surprise the girl on Friday and we're 

going to the Zoo! Is it weird that I'm excited to go? 

I haven't been to one since I was 11.. 

It should be fun :) 

I'm Loving... a fountain diet coke every once in a while.

It turns out the less you drink it, the better it tastes!

Weird.

I'm Loving...Javier Colon from the voice.. and no, it's not JUST because he's brown.

(Though that definitely made him my favorite from the start)

He has an amazing voice, and he should win tonight!

I voted 1,000,000 a few times!

(Gosh, he is freaking CUTE!)

I'm Loving.. My kitty. On the fourth, I will have had him for a whole year! 

We've been through some ups and downs.. (him eating my headphones)

But I love the little guy. And I'm thankful I adopted him last year.

I'm Loving... That I'm going to be spending the fourth with two of my favorite people.

Girls weekend! It should be a TON of fun!

What are you  loving this Wednesday?

P.S. Have a fun and SAFE weekend! <3

The One Where I Was Scared...

I mentioned in my confessions post yesterday that I had the pee scared out of me was recently scared, and it was while watching a scary movie. Here's what happened..

I live at home with my mom, step dad [Scott] and step aunt[Penny] (I'm a college student who spends $200 on gas every month to get to work/school, and I'm moving next year.. It's cheaper this way.. don't judge me). My mom and Scotty went to the valley to help my Grandma with her garage sale she was having (that woman has more "stuff" than anyone else I know.. she made bank) and Penny was in the valley and had been for over a week. Nobody knew when she was coming home, because she kinda sucks with the whole communication thing.

This was Saturday.. I had gotten off work early because I had been there for 4 hours and had 0 reservations (seriously... it sucked) so they sent me home. I went to my bff's daughters softball tourney instead and watched the last few minutes of a rough game for the girls. I could tell the girl was grumpy, so I offered to take her home so she wouldn't have to spend an hour in the car with her annoying   charming little brothers. We found out when we got to her house that they had more guests for the weekend (they had just had family leave THAT DAY) so the girl asked if she could stay at my house.. of course since I'm a whimp the nice "auntie" that I am, I said yes.

The girl and I share a love for scary movies, so we decided to watch Jeepers Creepers 2.. It's one of the few movies that doesn't have nudity or too much gore. We settled in and we were watching the movie and it was about 10:30...

Then in the movie, it was a particularly freaky part (when the creeper was picking who he wanted to eat in front of all the teenagers in the bus) the movie was kinda quiet.. and all of a sudden...

We heard footsteps on my front porch...

The screen door started opening..

All that was running through my mind was "OMG I FORGOT TO LOCK THE FRONT DOOR!!!!"

The front door opened.. and since the front porch light was off, we couldn't see the person.

First thought, was to grab the girl and run to the bathroom with my cell phone....

But after a second, I realized it was Penny.

I was literally shaking for 20 minutes after that. And the girl was pretty freaked out too.. We immediately made sure all of the doors were locked.

Looking back, all I can say is THANK GOD the girl was with me... I would have been even more terrified if she wasn't.

Lesson learned... I'll lock my doors from now on.

Hoo are you? 4th of July edition!

 

I'm linking up for another round of Hoo Are You?

Check it out over here if you want to as well!

1. Do you decorate for the 4th of July?

2.Do you buy fireworks for the 4th of July?

3. How do you celebrate the 4th of July?

4. Do you have a family member who is serving our country?

5. Do you dress in red, white, or blue on the fourth?

Here are my answers:

1. Do you decorate for the 4th of July?

Personally, I don't. Because.. well I'm 21, I don't really buy decorations for every holiday.

2. Do you buy fireworks for the 4th of July?

Sometimes. It depends.. I live in Oregon so the cool fireworks are illegal.

I usually just buy some sparklers.. because they make EVERYBODY happy.

Unless you get burnt.. but that's a whole other story.

3. How do you celebrate the 4th of July?

Well the past 2 years it was by helping out at a celebration in the park that our town puts on.

My church always has a booth, so I usually spend a few hours down there.

I actually got Uno on the 4th last year :) 

This year I'm going to Portland with my bff and her daughter..

The girl is playing in a softball tourney, and we figured we'd cheer her on!

And it's a 5 day vacation after working 6 days straight... 

I'll need it.

4. Do you have a family member who is serving our country?

I do. My step brother is in the army, and a friend who is pretty much family 

(he's been in my life for more than half of it)

is in the Marines. I'm very proud of them and I love them very much.

5. Do you dress in red, white, or blue on the fourth?

Usually. I will for sure this year..

The softball team we're cheering on wears red white and blue :)

Confessions pt. II

 

I'm linking up with Carissa again, because it was so much fun confessing things

that are going on in this brain of mine. Here are some more confessions!

I confess that I haven't had coffee in over two weeks. And driving by a Dutch Brothers or Starbucks is LITERALLY painful.

 

 

I confess that I want to punch my coworkers sometimes for the way they talk to people on the phone.

Don't they know you catch more flies with honey than vinegar? 

 

 

I confess that I'm a little bitter that I haven't made it to the pool once this summer.

Is it so bad that I would like to be a little less ghostly tan this summer?

 

 

I confess that I got really scared the other night... while watching a scary movie. 

I'll post that story later, look for it. 

 

I confess that two of the girls I work with are getting married, and I just don't understand it.

Why them? "I wanted princess cut diamonds and they're circle diamonds... he just doesn't understand. There are 14 diamonds in this damn ring and NONE OF THEM ARE RIGHT!" Have fun with that, mister.

 

 

I confess that I've been a sucky blogger lately. Among other things. 

I confess that I was relieved when my bff told me there were no more camping sites and we'd need a hotel for this upcoming weedend's mini vacation! THANK  YOU, JESUS!

 

 

  No competition after working 6 straight days

I confess that my new iPhone is amazing. And the fact that it tells me when my favorite team scores?

<3 it's true love, people!

 

 

I confess that you couldn't handle all of my confessions at this point :) 

Happy Monday!

Inspiration

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Heart of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn't want to hear

But I knew that it would come

An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone

She said you found someone

And I thought of all the bad luck,

And all the struggles we went through

How I lost me and you lost you

What are these voices outside loves open door

That makes us throw off our contentment 

And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore.

These times are so uncertain

There's a yearning undefined

And people filled with rage

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age

And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness

Are the very things we kill, I guess

Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms

And the world they put between us,

You know it doesn't keep us warm

I've been trying to live without you now

But I miss you, baby

The more I know, the less I understand

And all the things I thought I figured out

I have to learn again

I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter

But my will gets weak

And my heart is so shattered 

But I think it's about forgiveness, forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

All the people in your life who've come and gone

They let you down, you know they hurt your pride

Better put it all behind you, cause life goes on

You keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you up inside

I wanted happily ever after

And my heart is so shattered but I know it's about

Forgiveness, forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter

Because the flesh gets weak

And the ashes will scatter 

So I'm thinking about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if you don't love me anymore

Even if you don't love me anymore 

<3

"Blonde Moment"

I'm blaming the occurrence of my  blonde moments on the fact that I was born with blonde hair, and it was blonde up until I started my teen years. Now it's dark brown, but I think my brain is still stuck in blonde mode sometimes (no offense, blondes.. I'm just sayin'). Here's the latest blonde moment, and lucky me, it happened last night.

Let me start by saying the past few days have been financially frustrating. I received a letter in the mail from the justice court saying they never received my paperwork from taking the class to get out of my ticket. So I had to pay the whole fine, which was $227 on top of the $70 I paid to get out of going to court as well as the class itself. I had the certificate of completion and so I took it in, and had to write a letter to the judge asking him let the fine go since I had taken the proper steps that were required of me.. so I had to wait on that a couple of days. I found out yesterday I didn't have to pay the fine! (YAY!) So that was sort of stressful. Back to the real story.

I went to the store at nine last night to get some milk and to feed my diet pepsi addiction (I hadn't had one in over 2 weeks) and I got some Ranch flavored sunflower seeds (SOOOOO GOOD! I can't even eat regular sunflower seeds anymore). I went up to the cashier, she checks out my items and I opened my wallet to pull out my debit card. But it's not there. I'm really responsible about putting it back, because.. well I left my wallet in a store once after I had just CASHED a check, and that scared me enough to be REALLY careful about my money. Luckily, I had some cash and gave that to her, while completely PANICKING in my mind.. The last place I had used my card was at THAT STORE just two nights before.

I looked in my car. Under seats, in the cracks, in the back, EVERYWHERE! I looked through my purse NUMEROUS times and I even dumped it out when I got home. I had checked my wallet 4 times when I was at the store, and I checked it 4 more times when I was home. I tore my room apart looking for it. Iknew it wasn't in my room though, so I went back to my wallet.

Wow.

The slot that my license/social security card sits in was feeling a little thicker than usual. So I thought maybe it was in the same one by accident. I pulled it out, and nothing. But as I was holding my wallet I could still feel something in there (it wasn't in that slot though because it has a clear thing on it, so I would obviously see it). So I stuck my finger in the spot where I always keep my card, and it was in there. Just pushed all the way back. I felt instant relief and instant stupidity at the same time.

I blame the fact that I was instantly stressed on the fact that I just went through that stupid ticket thing. But as I reflect back on it now, I still feel really stupid for not reaching in there in the first place. Seeing how that's the ONLY place I EVER PUT IT!

Lesson learned.

These Are My Confessions

I'm linking up with Carissa at Carissa Explains It All

for some confession time!




I confess - That since I've been working out and changing my eating habits over the past few days.. I've been on the scale everyday to check the results.  Sometimes even twice a day.. oops.

I confess that I sometimes don't say the nicest things about people who call to make reservations when they're on hold.

I confess that I'm ALMOST willing to forget the fact that I've lost 11 lbs in a week for some $1 dutch bros today.

I confess that I was in such a hurry yesterday that I dry shaved my legs. Well.. I got the razor wet at least. My razor burn makes me want to rethink that idea.

I confess that I haven't had a diet pepsi in over a week and it's slowly killing me.

I confess that I'm jealous of the Zumba instructors hips. Mine don't move like that. I wish they did.

I confess that I pray sometimes for God to bring me a brown boy to Central Oregon.

I confess that after being a jerk driver and riding someone's butt until I could pass them seemed like a good idea at the time, until I realized as I passed them that I knew them. Oops :)

Fit Friday

It's been a while, but I'm back in the game! I've lost 4.3 lbs since Monday! Woot! And that was just with different food choices. I worked out today, and I feel unstoppable! I can't wait to spend a few hours in the pool! As soon as my tattoo finishes healing up I'll be able to.

Since it IS Fit Friday, and I spent two WHOLE hours this morning looking for songs with a decent bpm (beat per minute) I decided to share some of the tunes I found and where I found them. There's a website called runningplaylist.net. If you're anything like me, this website will be a huge help. My drug (or machine) of choice at the gym is the elliptical. I average around 140 spm (strides per minute) so I need a song that's up there in bpm otherwise I will literally slow down. It's not on purpose, it's just something that goes along with being a musical kind of person. Here are some of the good finds from today:

The Edge Of Glory - Lady Gaga [129 bpm] I'm not usually a fan of the Gaga, but this song is pretty motivating.
Give Me Everything - Pitbull ft. Neyo [129 bpm] Something about Pitbull just get's me moving.
How To Love - Lil Wayne [76 bpm] Not as high as the other ones, but it's a good song nonetheless.
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO [133 bpm] LMFAO and 3oh!3 always get me going on the elliptical!
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj [132 bpm] I'm just addicted to this song!
Choke - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus [189 bpm] THIS SONG KICKS MY BUTT. My instinct is to go faster when the music is faster. This is a good one towards the end of my workout.
Rolling in the Deep - Adele [108 bpm] It's Adele, and she sounds like she could kick some butt in this song. Enough said :)
Dirty Dancer - Enrique ft. Usher [134 bpm] Another upbeat one with 2 of my favorite guys ;)
See you Again - Miley Cyrus [138 bpm] Don't judge, gotta do whatever it takes to keep a good pace!
Heart Breaker - Pat Benatar [156 bpm] She's amazing. Just sayin.
PoP! Goes My Heart - Hugh Grant [125 bpm] PLEASE tell me you've seen Music & Lyrics. <3 this song!

What helps you get through a tough workout?

The Girl With No Life

I love love love my new job. It's great. It's competitive (I've already got a ratio above where it needs to be, so that means a bonus check!), I get a $50 bonus if I'm called in to work for someone who didn't show up.. it's awesome.

But seriously? Can't I have a job AND a life? This is my first 2 days off in a row (other than my birthday, but I asked for those days off, so it doesn't count) in a long time. I wish I could say I was out in the sunshine, relaxing.. but no. I have to wash the mountain of laundry in my room because I don't have ANY OTHER TIME TO DO IT! I'm going a little crazy. Hopefully tomorrow (first Friday off since I got the job) will be relaxing and I won't have to do a thing. Maybe I'll go wash my car while my clothes are washing.. at least I'll get some vitamin d!

Does anybody else have the same problem? Finding "Me" time? Parents, you don't count. You'll have me time when your kiddos grow up ;)

Any-who, hopefully I'll have some time to blog tomorrow and I'll schedule some posts, so I'm not only posting mixtape monday! P.S. I'm back on SparkPeople.com.. if you've never heard of it, check it out. It's a nifty little *FREE* tool to help you keep track of the calories/fat/protein/carbs you eat, and you can also get support from other members of the site! Go, do it! Right now.

Mixtape Monday!

It's a little late, but it's never too late for Mixtape Monday!

Here's what I'm listening to this week :)

1. Harder to Breathe - Maroon 5

When it gets cold outside and you've got nobody to love

You'll understand what I mean when I say

There's no way we're gonna give up

And like a little girl cries in the face 

Of a monster that lives in her dreams

Is there anyone out there

Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe.

2. Weightless - All Time Low

Manage me, I'm a mess

Turn a page, I'm a book half unread

I wanna be laughed at, laughed with just because

I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough

3. Where is the Love - Black Eyed Peas

People killin', people dyin'

Children hurtin', you hear them cryin?

If you practice what you preach, 

Then would you turn the other cheek?

Father, Father, Father help us

Send some guidance from above

Cause people got me got me questioning

Where is the love?

4. Only You - Joshua Radin

Wonder if you'll understand

It's just the touch of your hand

Behind a closed door.

All I needed was the love you gave

All I needed for another day

All I ever knew, only you

5. Before We Come Undone Kris Allen

Now pride is out the door, cause I know we can make it before

Make it before the sun breaks another day

I'll wait til you say I'm the only one

Before we come, before we come undone.

6. Now and Then - Adele

Every now and then my memories ache

With the empty ideas of the ones we'd made...

Hearts break and hearts wait

To make us grow from dust

Then our eyes cry and souls sigh

So that we know that it hurts.

7. Landslide (Glee version) - Glee Cast

Well, I've been afraid of changing

Cause I've built my life around you.

But time makes you bolder

Children get older, I'm getting older too.

 

8. Someday We'll Know - Mandy Moore ft. Jonathan Foreman

Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain

Someday we'll know why the sky is blue

Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you...

Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah

Someday I'll go dancing on the moon

someday you'll know that I was the one for you.

 

9. Playing God - Paramore

You don't have to believe me

But the way I, way I see it

Next time you point a finger 

I might have to bend it back

Or break it, break it off

Next time you point a finger,

I'll point you to a mirror.

 

10. Girl Can't Help It - Journey

 

The girl can't help it, she needs more

He hasn't found what he's looking for

They're still standing in the rain

He can't help it and she's just that way.

And when he calls her

She tells him that she still cares

Under the moonlight

He wonders why she can't be there

Why do they go on alone 

When they're missing each other.

Ooh... there's a fire in his eyes for you

Ooh.. do you know she still cries for you

Mixtape Monday

Here's what I'm listening to this week! :)

1. I Can't Wait - Runner Runner

'Cause I can't wait for you to be my wife, to live this life together.

And I won't let you go, I need you to know that you are my heart forever.

2. Hey Girl - Dashboard Confessional

So what if your friends think I'm crazy

Well I wasn't trying to impress those girls anyway

They're all theory, no action

And where I'm from we live like it's the latest attraction.

3. Super Bass - Nicki Minaj

Boy you got my heartbeat runnin' away

beatin' like a drum and it's coming your way

Can't you hear that boom badoom boom boom badoom boom bass

He got that super bass

Boom badoom boom boom badoom boom bass

Yeah that's that super bass

4. Rapid Hope Loss - Dashboard Confessional

So much for all the promises you made they served you well

And now you're gone and they're wasted on me.

So much for your endearing sense of charm it served you well

And now you're gone and you're wasted on me.

I guess that all you've got is all you're gonna get

So much for so much more.

5. Time After Time - Eva Cassidy

You say go slow, I fall behind. The second hand unwinds.

If you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time.

If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting time after time.

If you fall I will catch you, I will be waiting time after time.

6. Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum 

Just a shot in the dark that you just might

Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight.

7. Hero - Abandon 

There He goes, the hero, the Savior to the world

Here He stand with scars in His hands

With love, He gave His life so we could be free..

The Savior of the world, the Savior of the world.

8. Carve Your Heart Out Yourself - Dashboard Confessional

Man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has

But it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all.

Oh, look now, there you go with hope again.

You're so sure that I'll be leaving in the end. 

Treatin' me like I'm already gone.

9. Because of You - Neyo

And I know this much is true, baby you have become my addiction

I'm so strung out on you, I can barely move but I like it

So then it's all because of you

10. Making Memories of Us - Keith Urban

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you

And I'll earn your trust making memories of us. 

We'll follow the rainbow wherever the four winds blow

And there'll be a new day comin' your way.

 

My Birthday Weekend!

Let me start by saying I had an AWESOME birthday! It started out way too early (I don't know why I insist on waking up at the exact time I was born [5:38 AM]) but I ended up at Starbucks to see Kelly for a few minutes and she happened to be on her break, so we got to hang! After that, I drove to Eugene and got to hang out with my brother and Grandma for a while. Then I went with my mom and grandma to the nail salon. They got the fake nails (I can't stand them, they last about a week with me if I get them) and I got a pedicure. I hate having my feet touched.. Absolutely HATE it, but the guy that did my pedicure made me love it. I'm not saying that I'll let people touch my feet now, because I won't, but he can touch them anytime ;)

After the pampering, we met up with my beautiful sister and my beautiful niece at The Original Roadhouse (yumm!!). They put a coffee filter on my head and one of those toilet seat covers around my neck and sang happy birthday. It was fun :)

After dinner, my brother and I played some rockband before we got ready to go out. I told him ahead of time I wasn't getting drunk, and he said that was fine. Before we left my grandma said "You look pretty, what, are you trying to go get a man?" Haha no, Grandma, I'd prefer not to meet guys in a bar. Just sayin'. Our first stop was a cozy little bar that played some low-key rap music. And this was my first drink...

I told my brother that I would need something really fruity so I couldn't taste the alcohol. He got me a wild berry mojito. Definitely wasn't my type of drink. I took a drink and almost lost it. It was gross, and not for me. I made him drink it and I got myself a fuzzy naval. It wasn't too bad, but I could still taste too much alcohol. After that drink we went down the street and stopped at a bar that was playing really loud 70's soul music. I got a free rum and coke, which oddly enough was my favorite drink of the night. After I had them add more coke ;) I cut myself off after that and we went home. I was definitely feeling it, but I was in no way shape or form drunk. I ended up falling asleep in the recliner. I remember my mom coming in the living room and saying to my brother "You did this to her!" It was pretty funny.

Friday we went to the coast! Newport to be exact, for my tattoo! We got there early so we stopped at the beach for a few minutes. And of course we took some pictures!

After getting our feet in freezing beautiful ocean, we headed back to the car, and off to the tattoo parlor! The tattoo artist told me that my tattoo was going to take 2 hours, but it ended up taking 45... if that! But let me tell you, it HURT. I couldn't let go of my mom/brother's hand. With my two other tattoos, I didn't need to hold anybody's hand, but this one.. oh my goodness. It felt like a knife was being stabbed into my foot and then dragged across. It was terrible, but I love the finished product!

This picture was taken right after I had it done, so it's still a little bloody. I'd take a picture right now, but my flowers are bruised so it doesn't look like it's supposed to. But  I love it! It was my birthday present to myself :) Just like my first tattoo. I had an awesome birthday, and I love the fact that my age is no longer keeping me from doing anything (other than buying off of the senior menu ;)). I hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well! :)

Don't Blink

Don't blink! Everyone's watching.

They'll think you're up to something.

They need for you to be 

Everything that they cannot be themselves.

It is officially my 21st birthday!

For reals, I was born at 5:38 AM

On Saturday, June 2, 1990.

I'm 21 years old!

Finally.

I'm off to pack, hit up Starbucks

(while simultaneously visiting my best friend at work)

and then I'm hitting the road!

I'll make sure and take lots of pictures!

I hope you have a WONDERFUL June 2nd.

It's only my favorite day of the year!

Disappointment

I am what I hate to call people call a people pleaser. It's true. I rarely do anything without thinking of how the consequences of my actions will affect other people. I've read books about my people pleasing antics, books like "Co-dependency No More" and so on, and so forth. Yes, I know I am co-dependent on my people pleasing and the fact that I like to keep the waters calm.

In stores when I'm looking at greeting cards or books or something, if someone comes up behind me, I will stop my search, move out of the way and patiently wait until they're finished.

I keep my hurt feelings to myself even though it's something I shouldn't keep inside because I just really don't want to stir up any trouble.

I don't say what I want because it might just conflict with what other people around me want.

I don't stand up for myself and say no when I don't want to do something, I do it anyway.

I feel like a shell of the person I'm supposed to be because of the people-pleaser I am. It's very frustrating that I can't just stop. Trust me, I've tried. I've been proud of myself on numerous occasions that I actually said no to people. But then I go on that day feeling guilty. It's something I would love to change about myself.

My feelings were hurt last night, guys. Another thing that happens easily but I keep it to myself and cover it up by using anger or just shrugging it off.

I was told by someone (someone really close to me) that they were disappointed in me. In me?!?! Whatever could they be disappointed in me for?!? *rolls eyes*

This person said that they were disappointed in the fact that I was going to have a couple of drinks on my birthday. My 21st birthday. I've waited until I was 21 to drink, but it's disappointing that I'm going to actually have a little fun on my birthday. I'm going to a bar with my brother because he has always said that he wanted to take me out on my 21st birthday. I'm not going out with a bunch of friends to get "shit-faced" I'm going out with my brother to enjoy a few drinks.. doing something I've never done before. So let's get this straight..

I love Jesus with my whole heart
I'm a 4.0 student
I don't do any of the crazy things kids my age do
I'm actively involved in my church
I work 40 hours a week
But I can't enjoy myself and responsibly have a couple of drinks on my 21st birthday?

I'm an adult. Most of the time I feel like a 35 year old trapped in a 20 year old body. Is it so disappointing that I want to for once in my life act my age a little?

Mind you, this is said to be the hardest age for a believer. I'm going through so many transitions that my head is spinning, and yet I'm being judged for wanting to do something for myself.

My heart hurts, guys. It really does. The people pleaser in me is going to have 1000 lbs of guilt when I have a drink on my birthday tomorrow night. But I'm just going to ignore that part of me, because I DESERVE to have a good time on my birthday. Even if it does disappoint a few people. I'm not here to be approved of. The one that needs to approve of me loves me unconditionally. That's enough for me.

WILW

It's that time again!

Time to link up with Jamie

and share what I'm loving this Wednesday!

I'm Loving... my new job. Though it's cutting into my personal time more than I thought it would, I'm loving the job anyways! My next paycheck is going to be killer (over 80 hours). That being said, I miss my friends.

I'm Loving... that my BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! If you know me irl, you'll know this to be true. I don't let anybody forget that my birthday is in [insert number] days.

I'm Loving... again, I'm probably a total nerd for putting this one on here twice, but Law & Order: SVU. It's what I watch every night before falling asleep. It might seem weird but it winds me down and makes it easier to fall asleep. Weird, because that kind of show should give me nightmares!

I'm Loving... that I can blame the fact that I change my mind for my tattoo about every day on the fact that I'm a female. Try and stop me.

I'm Loving... that tomorrow I get to see my Eugene family. I miss them and it's always fun seeing them! Pedicures with my mom and grandma on my 21st birthday.. sounds good to me!

I'm Loving... My strengthening relationship with my brother. It's really important to me that we stay close, and we definitely are.. and that makes me happy.

I'm Loving... Mac computers. This is absolutely crazy for me to say, since I'm a firm believer in pc's.. but I've been working on a mac, and I have to say.. it is pretty nice. Maybe that will be my next purchase when my computer goes down the drain (which I have a feeling isn't too far off).

I'm Loving... that it snowed during memorial day weekend. Yep. Real snow. Snowflakes were falling at the end of May in Oregon. And if you don't realize that this is a sarcastic kind of love, then you need to be checked. Because I'm laying it on pretty thick ;)

I'm Loving... Life. <3