Thanksgiving Vacation

I know it's a few days late, but I've been crazy busy since I've been home, with papers and portfolios, I just didn't have time to upload the pictures. But here are the highlights from my Thanksgiving trip to Eugene. Enjoy.

I had to leave this little guy (Uno) for a few days. I sure missed him by the time I got home. He's been all over me since I've been home, so I'm guessing the feeling is mutual. (This is the first picture I've ever gotten of him when he wasn't moving and he was actually looking at the camera!)

This is what most of our drive over to Eugene looked like. A little more clear on the way back, but dang, that was a lot of snow!

Of course I had to take time for a self portrait. I wouldn't be a girl if I didn't. This was at the store on our pit stop :)



After we finally arrived to Eugene, my brother and I went to the mall to watch a movie (Due Date.. wasn't that impressed) and we saw this guy hanging out in the Oregon store. Quite possibly the coolest shirt ever!! In my opinion anyway. I'm sure many would disagree.

This is me and my grandma. She's crazy, but I love her so much! She always makes us laugh (especially when she falls asleep when we're all awake and she yells at us in her sleep.. kind of hilarious!)

Mom and I took at least 100 pictures to get a good one. It just wasn't working out. So I made this face. It happens.

Then we finally got a decent one.

Trevor and I on the bus to go to Autzen Stadium! Woot! Bus was full of duck fans... I love seeing all the green and yellow! (And black, because apparently one of our new colors is black.. hmm)

In the Mo' Center after the players walked through the fans. I was less than a foot away from the guys. I was in heaven. Probably drooled a little too. Oh, and at least we were #1 when we wore those tattoos, won't work for this weekend!

You can't really see him, but one of those guys bent over is Darron Thomas. Trevor just laughed when he saw they were bent over. He didn't dare ask what I was taking a picture of ;)

Us in our awesome seats! He was tired of taking pictures by then, but it paid off, look who snuck up behind us in our picture! The Duck! :)

The game in motion! We won 48-29. Pretty solid victory, if you ask me. Not worthy of dropping to the #2 spot, but that's alright. We're #1 in my heart!

Non-Fiction

Day Fourteen: A Non-Fiction Book

I won't say too much about this book, because you should read this book, but it's amazing. Wayne Cordeiro is a fantastic writer, and this book made me want to go out and buy all of his books. It was very inspiring and life changing. It should go on everybody's list of books to read. If we were all living our dreams, the world would be a much happier place.

Hoo Are You?

Time for another round of Hoo Are You! I look forward to doing these posts. Especially on Tuesdays. I really dislike Tuesdays. Here we go!

1. Do you like to listen to Christmas music?
I love listening to Christmas music. Especially when there is snow on the ground and it actually feels like Christmas! Faith Hill's Christmas album is probably my favorite.

2. Are you one of those people who get all their shopping done early,

or do you do most of it in December?
Well, now that depends. If I see something I know someone will love, I'll buy it way ahead of Christmas. But if I'm stumped, then my shopping doesn't get done until December.

3. Do you set a budget on how much you spend on each person?
No, not really.

4. Do you send out Christmas cards?
No, but I should. Maybe I'll do that this year.

5. Do you enjoy this holiday season or does it stress you out?
I definitely enjoy the holiday season. It's my favorite time of year, other than June 2nd ;)

Fictional Book

Day Thirteen: Fictional Book

My favorite fictional book used to be Red by Erica Spindler, and while it's still one of my favorites, I have a new favorite. I read this book in just a few hours. K had been trying to get me to read it for MONTHS, maybe even a year. But it just sat on my bookcase. It wasn't until I tried giving it back to her that I realized maybe I should read it. Good choice on my part. It's definitely a girly book, but it's amazing. It will make you laugh, cry and fall in love. It's amazing.

OCD Much?

Day Twelve: Things I'm OCD About

Ducks Football: Don't talk to me when I'm watching the game. Period. Unless you're talking abut how good they look. Talking while the game is on stresses me out.

My Car: I hate it if my car is messy. It's always clean and nice. If it's not, I'll spend a day cleaning it. A nice car reflects a nice person.. right?

Homework: I have to do it as soon as I get home. I can't wait. It has to be done right away.

I'm not really all that OCD though, so yeah. :)

A Recent Photo

Day Eleven: A Recent Photo of Me


11/26/2010
Taken yesterday at the Oregon vs. Arizona game! Go Ducks :)

Photo Time

Day Ten: A Photo Taken Over 10 Years Ago



I had to use this picture again because I'm not at home, and apparently my grandma doesn't like me anymore. There are no pictures of me in the house. Anywhere. I looked. But on the bright side, there aren't any of the other grandchildren either, just her great grandchildren.

A Photo I took

Day Nine: A Photo I Took



Beautiful sunset at Autzen? Doesn't get much better than that!

Got my Angry Face On

Day Eight: A Photo That Makes Me Angry/Sad


I can't even begin to express how angry these pictures make me.
First of all, God doesn't hate anybody. End of story.
Second, pretty sure being judgemental is a sin.
No sin is bigger than another.
So you being a judgemental jerk is no worse than someone being gay.
Just saying.
God loves them. That's all that matters.

Hero

This is quite possibly my new favorite song. It makes me cry every time I hear it. It also makes me so thankful for what I have. My Savior died for me before I even existed. He loves me and wants a relationship with me. The maker of the world loves and cherishes me. It doesn't get any better than that, my friends. And He loves you, too.

Hoo Are You?

Time for another round of Hoo Are You? (Thanksgiving edition!)

Here are the questions if you want to join in!

1. Name 5 things you are grateful for!

2. What is you favorite dish at Thanksgiving dinner?

3. Do you have any family traditions for Thanksgiving?

4. Are you staying home or traveling for Thanksgiving?

5. What else do you do on Thanksgiving day besides eat?

1. Name 5 things you are grateful for!
I'm thankful for God's love and grace.
My amazing family and my friends.
My good health.
The beautiful snow (even if it is dangerous)
The ability to go see family this week.

2. What is you favorite dish at Thanksgiving dinner?
I'd have to say the turkey is my favorite. That or sweet potatoes. I'm kind of picky though, so I don't tend to over stuff at thanksgiving like a lot of people are known to do. :-P

3. Do you have any family traditions for Thanksgiving?
We just have a tradition of spending Thanksgiving at my Grandma's house. We all help cook, and usually the kids (my brother and I) end up cleaning all of the mess up. But we have fun.

4. Are you staying home or traveling for Thanksgiving?
Traveling to Eugene to spend Wednesday through Sunday with family. Going to spend black Friday at Autzen Stadium!!! :)

5. What else do you do on Thanksgiving day besides eat?
Watch movies and football, watch the Macy's Thanksgiving day Parade, maybe play a board game or something. SLEEP!

I hope you all have a very fun, yummy and happy Thanksgiving week! Stay safe on the roads if you're traveling.

A Photo That Makes My Heart Melt

Day 7 - a photo that makes your heart melt


I'm a fan of this photographer, and I stumbled upon this photograph a few days ago, and it instantly made me long for something like this. I want to make someone smile like that. It really does make my heart melt. They look so in love. I'm happy for them :)

20 Favorite Things

Day Six: 20 Favorite Things
(In no particular order)

1.) God

2.) Family/friends

3.) Music

4.) Oregon Ducks Football

5.) Football in general

6.) Movies (Scary, comedies, romcom's, and inspirational movies)

7.) Fun nail polish colors

8.) Cell Phone

9.) Uno (my kitty)

10.) One Tree Hill/ Grey's Anatomy

11.) Elf

12.) Facebook/Blogger/Myspace (even though the only reason I keep myspace is to talk to my cousin)

13.) Autzen Stadium

14.) Laughter

15.) Children

16.) Happy crying

17.) Break down crying (when you just have had enough and you have that really good cry and it makes everything feel better)

18.) Optimistic people

19.) Love

20.) Hope

Favorite Quotes

Day Five: Favorite Quote[s]

Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves.
Henri Frederic Amiel





Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says... I'll try again tomorrow.


I've learned that i have a lot of compassion for people. I've learned that crying and admitting when you're wrong are signs of strength, not weakness. I've learned that love is more important than money, power, or sex. I've learned that forgiveness heals everyone, most importantly you. I've learned that laughter truly is the best medicine for the soul. I've learned that you can't take life too seriously. I've learned that sometimes listening to what others have to say is the best therapy. I've learned that how people treat you is their karma, and how you react is yours. I've learned that I've learned a lot, but still know very little.

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again.


Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.


The time you enjoy wasting is not time wasted.


Best friends: They know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.

My Favorite Book

Day Four: My Favorite Book

My favorite book is the bible. It's how I know that God is who He says He is. It's the foundation of my faith! Without it, I'd be lost.

Other than that, I love reading. My favorite books are by Nora Roberts (cheesy romance novels without so much sex and and naughty things) and Erica Spindler. Erica Spindler writes love stories with really crazy twists thrown in that usually have something to do with murder and deceit. I haven't found one of her books that I haven't liked. My favorite by her is Red.

My Favorite Teacher

Day Three: My Favorite Teacher

My favorite teacher used to be my high school European Literature teacher. But now, I'd have to say my writing 121 instructor is my favorite. She's brought back my passion for writing, and it's been an awesome three months. I'm going to try and get her for my writing 122 class. She's funny, she'll make fun of you in front of the whole class if you do something dumb. Like text while she's talking. She's not a fan of that. She'll make fun of you until you're red in the face. She randomly brings chocolate kisses to class if she forgets to do something she said she would do. She kind of looks like Daniel from the Karate Kid (don't ask me how/why). She is definitely my favorite teacher so far in my education career.

My Definition of Success

Day Two: My Definition of Success

Success: the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.

the

This is a really good question. I think that my definition of success depends on how many lives I've touched and that I have tried my absolute hardest at achieving my goal. It's not about having the best grades (even though that does feel good), and it's not about being the BEST at everything. It is about giving my best effort. And if I do great, then that's awesome. But as long as I try my hardest at everything, I will have success in my eyes.

My Biggest Accomplishment

Another 30 day challenge! Yay! I'm three days off right now, so today is a catch-up day!

Day One: My Biggest Accomplishment

Well, I'm still young and haven't done a whole lot in my life so far, I'd have to say that my biggest accomplishment thus far is graduating high school and going to College. I almost didn't graduate high school, it came down to the wire and I had to work my butt off to graduate, so it made it that much better. I was in a really deep depression, and it took a powerful God to get me out of it, but by the time I was better, I was in the middle of my Junior year, with a lot of failed classes behind me. But I graduated, and now I'm going to school to become a nurse. So, as of right now, that's my biggest accomplishment. Ask me again in 5 years.

DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love Again

Well, not exactly. I'm taking a Developmental Psychology class (which I love, aside from the crazy Russian lady that loves the sound of her voice) this term, and recently, we've been going over the age group of young adults. I've had a couple "issues" with a few of the things that have been said so far about young adults. Being a young adult myself, I feel like I have a little say in what I feel and how I'm developing.

[Issue #1] Early Adulthood Life Structure:
- Men: "settling down"
- Women: Split dreams.

Now call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure a man's biggest dream isn't to settle down. Seems as if it's the last thing they want. I could be wrong, but it's just what I see.
Women with split dreams, I guess I could see that. I have split dreams. I want to be a successful nurse, a good wife and a great mom some day. They're split, right?

[Issue #2] (This is my biggest issue) Selecting a Mate:
-Men: Attractiveness, domestic skills. (In this order)
-Women: Intelligence, ambition, financial status, morals. (In this order)

I have a hard time believing that all a man wants is an attractive woman to clean his house and cook his dinner. I mean, yeah those things are pretty awesome if you can find a woman like that, but seriously? Give the guys some credit, most of them want more than that! Again, I could be crazy, but I just don't believe it. I call BS.

And while I don't want to date/marry a complete moron, his intelligence isn't the first on my list. Ambitions are good, as long as that not all you see. Financial status? I could care less what you have. Morals are good. If we don't agree on most moral issues, then there could be a problem. It says in the book if you agree on 60% of most issues, you'll have a successful marriage/relationship.

The things that I look for in a guy aren't the surface things. Money? Not important. I'm going to be a nurse, I'll be making bank. I'm not worried about money in a relationship. Should he have goals and something he wants and tries to pursue? Yeah, definitely. But putting ambitious as a trait he must have for me to even consider dating him is just crazy.

My type of guy is a kind person. He treats people with respect, and they respect him for it. He makes fun of me, and himself, and can take it when I do it back. He should like sports, but it's definitely not necessary, but he has to understand when the Ducks are playing, I don't do anything else. He should be confident in himself, and in the things he does. Knowing Jesus is a definite plus. He has to treat our relationship as a partnership. I'll be more likely to keep his belly happy if he doesn't expect it from me. He likes to go and do things with his friends, but likes to have time with just me. Someone I can be my complete self with, and he can do the same with me. He has to pass the family test. My hermano and my Kelly and my mom have to like him, because they know me the best, and they'll know if he's a perfect fit. A sense of humor is the key to my heart.

I don't open up as easy anymore, because of things that have happened in the past, but sometimes it's worth it. It definitely was with Michael. Even if it failed in the end, what we had was special, and I would rather hurt a little now because it's gone than not have had it at all.

What are the qualities in your significant other/future significant other?

What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Another fun idea from over here. It's been a good week so far, and so it's fun to focus on the things that I love! :)

I'm Loving that I'm getting A's in all of my classes. School is stress free (now that my Psych final is open book/open note), and I'm loving it!

I'm Loving that my heart is healing. That I can be thankful for something great that I had for a period in my life, and that even though it's done, I know for a time someone that I cared about and loved, loved me too.

I'm Loving that it's almost Thanksgiving! Which means it's almost time for the DUCK GAME! I'm tailgating with my brother and my hermano! I'm really excited to see family, eat yummy food, and then go to the last home game of the season!

I'm Loving transformation into a morning person! I wake up at 5:30 or 6:00 every morning, and I'm wide awake now. A far cry from where I was at the beginning of the term. Almost falling asleep on my way to school, it was no good.

I'm Loving the peace I'm feeling about where life is taking me. I couldn't find a job quick enough, and had to turn down moving to Bend for now. Which means I get more time to spend with my people here in P-ville. I'm very at peace and still looking for a job, but I'm no longer stressing.

I'm Loving this college football season. As a Duck fan, who wouldn't?

I'm Loving my Church, and my church family. We just had our 2 year anniversary a few weeks ago, and I'm so proud about how far we've come and so excited to see where we go.

I'm Loving life!

Day 30! Last Day!

DAY 30: A Picture


This is a picture of where I live. My camera accidentally messed up and took this weird colored picture that I absolutely love. I <3 this town :)

Thanks for following me on this 30 day journey! I had a blast, and I look forward to the next challenge. Hope you have a wonderful Wednesday.

Happy Birthday!!

Happy 26th Birthday, Trevor!



I hope you have the best birthday yet!
I wish I could be there to spend it with you, brother.
But I'll be there in 8 days!
Thank you for being such a good friend to me.
I'm so glad we've grown so close recently.
So here's to you on your day brother.
Halfway to 52! ;)
Happy Birthday!

Day 29

DAY 29: 3 Wishes

* To marry my best friend and have beautiful kids with him.

* Be a great mom, nurse, and friend.

* To have my life be an example of what living for God looks like.

Hoo Are You

I found this cute idea on a blog that I follow, who found it on a blog that she follows, so I thought it would be a fun thing to do tonight :) These questions are fun, I think so I hope you enjoy reading them, and maybe you could do it too!

1. Do you ever burp out loud in private or public?
I'd be lying if I said I never burp. I guess it depends on who I'm with. Sometimes in public if I can't hold it in, I'll disguise it as a hiccup. But if I'm with friends that I'm comfortable with, I'll just burp out loud. I don't think it's gross or anything. It's only gross if it sounds like you're throwing up. In private, I'll burp out loud too. It doesn't bother me.

2. How often do you get sick each year?
Well, in recent years, it's been once or twice a year. Last January I had swine flu. I thought I had it the previous fall, but that turned out to be just some crazy 48 hour flu thing. The swine flu sucked! I also got a cold/bronchitis thing this fall. So that's two so far, hopefully I'm done getting sick for the year! In 2009, I had strep throat/tonsilitis in January and then the icky flu thing in September. See a pattern yet?

3. Would you rather paint a room in your house yourself, or have someone else do it for you?
I would rather paint it myself. It would give me the satisfaction of knowing that I put a lot of hard work into it and it looks great! :)

4. If you get 30 minutes to yourself, what do you do?
Well, it depends. I do homework, study, read, listen to music, watch a recorded show that I missed, something random.

5. Do you allow people to wear shoes in your house?
I think you should be able to decide. I always take my shoes off when I go into someone's house whom I don't know very well. But if I know the person, and I know they don't care, I usually keep my shoes on. I have a thing with feet. I don't really like them, so if you don't want to take your shoes off in my house, then feel free not to. Really, you don't have to!

Day 28

DAY 28: Something That Stresses You Out

*Money: I wish we didn't need it to survive but we do. It just seems to always be a stresser of mine. I have never been homeless though, and I've never not had help. So, I might stress about it sometimes, but I know that I am beyond blessed.

*Finding a Job: The fact that I just had to send an e-mail to my future roommates saying I won't be moving in December has actually taken some of the weight off of my shoulders. I feel less stressed to find a job, and more determined.

*Snow: Driving in snow stresses me out. I drove in it last Wednesday, and I was so tense. But I made it safely, and pray that I continue to get there safely everyday.

*Low-scoring Duck games: Not a huge stress, but stress nonetheless. When I find my whole body is tense when Darron Thomas throws the ball down field, it made me realize there's a little stress in watching my ducks play football. Especially when they only score 15 points in a game.

That's really it right now. Not much stresses me out, and I never really realize I'm stressed until someone points it out to me. I try really hard not to worry, since worrying virtually does nothing.

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Things I like to Do When I'm Bored

* Paint my nails. There's something relaxing about painting my nails. The polish rarely lasts 24 hours before I pick at it and peel it off, but it's always fun to paint them pretty colors. I just painted my nails a little while ago.. they're blue right now.

* Curling/Straightening my hair. Again, it's weird but there's something relaxing about making my hair look pretty. Plus it looks pretty, so that's always fun :)

* Cleaning. I have to be in the mood to clean, otherwise it's just redundant to me. I really dislike cleaning, but when I'm in the mood, I'm an excellent cleaner!

* Blogging. Woo for blogging! I'm obsessed lately. But it's better that I'm addicted to something like this than drugs or sex or alcohol, right? Plus I get to talk about whatever I want. It's fun.

* Watch sportscenter. I always like to know what's going on in the sports world. Whether or not it's my team, I still like to know. And I'm a frequent visitor of ESPN.com.. checking college football stats and blogs is my hobby ;)

* Writing. Writing is probably one of my favorite things to do. I love just writing my feelings and thoughts, and stories that are in my head. They rarely make it past the dreaded backspace or my eraser, but it's still fun to write.

* Reading cheesy romance novels. Maybe that's why I have such a horrible misconception with what guys are like. I keep expecting to meet guys like in the books I read, and I'm so often terribly mistaken. It's sad really. But I know I'll find a guy that's perfect for me. I won't settle.

* Doodling. Or as my phone likes to say.. "fondling" Haha.. that's an embarrassing story.. ;)

* Make up lists of things I do when I'm bored. Yeah.. I'm bored right now. I've been sick today, so I'm just trying to take it easy, but I'm extremely bored!!! I've felt better since 2:00, but I don't want to push it.

P.S. My Ducks are still #1 after a pathetic win over California. Woo! Definitely made my day much better. Sorry about your Beavs sis. Everybody loses to Washington State by 17.. er.. maybe not. My mistake. :-P

Day 27!

DAY 27: Pets



This is Uno. He's my Fourth of July kitty. He's a lot bigger than this now, but he won't sit still long enough for me to take a picture. He loves to ruin my headphones and knock things off of my bookshelf. He's really annoying first thing in the morning, but he's my little snuggle bear and I love him to pieces!

Teach Me How to Duckie

Saturday is by far the best day of the week. Mainly just September through January, but for those few months, I look forward to Saturday the most. College football makes my heart happy. Really happy. Especially when my favorite team is the best team in the nation. Sorry about your Beavers, sister. Muahahahaha! :-P Maybe next year? Yeah.. probably not then either. The plan for today:

10:00am-12ish: Ladies Bible Study. I've been leading this group for over a year now, and it's awesome. I love this time in the morning to get together and talk about what God is doing in our lives.

12:00pm-4:30pm: Hanging with Kelly before the game starts :)

4:30pm-7:00pm: Watching my Ducks beat the crap out of the Cal bears. You thought 52-3 was bad last year? Wait until today, bears! Go Ducks!

7:00pm-sometime: Game night with some friends! Excited to hang out with good friends and eat good food and kick some butt just like my ducks ;)

Like I said, I love Saturday's. Who doesn't? Everybody has their reasons to love Saturday. Is it strange for me to be in love with a day?

November 26th, I'll be in love with Friday. Black Friday. At Autzen Stadium. I.can't.wait. (Thanks brother, for taking me!)

Day 26!

DAY 26: Picture of Your Family

I don't have just one picture of my family, so you get them in snippets. :)

My mommy and I

My brother Trevor and my Dad.


My beautiful sister, Karey.


Scotty and I (horrible picture, but whatevs)


My step-mom, Susan

Day 25!

DAY 25: Put Your iPod on Shuffel And List The First 10 Songs

1.) Never - Boyz II Men

In this world today, love is scarce and far away and your heart gets so afraid to trust someone. All the times he let you down, there was no love to be found. Well it's not the end, there will be time to mend, and you'll love again.

2.) Shape of My Heart- BSB

Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. I played my part, and kept you in the dark, now let me show you the shape of my heart.

3.) Broken - Seether Ft. Amy Lee

Because I'm broken when I'm open and I don't feel like I am strong enough. Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away.

4.) Unthinkable - Alicia Keys

I was wondering maybe could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy? If you ask me I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready.

5.) Boston - Augustana

She said I think I'll go to Boston, I think I'll start a new life. I think I'll start it over where no one knows my name. I'll get out of California I'm tired of the weather, I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain.

6.) Must Have Done Something Right - Relient K

We should get jersey's cause we make a good team. But yours would look better than mine, cause you're out of my league. And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday I spend with you is a new best day of my life.

7.) Here (In Your Arms) - Hellogoodbye

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me. Whispers hello, I'll miss you quite terribly. I fell in love, in love with you suddenly now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

8.) Crazy- K-Ci & JoJo

I can't think, think about this crazy day. I lose sleep just day-dreaming about ya baby. I'm, goin' crazy crazy crazy just thinking about you lately. I'm goin' crazy crazy crazy just thinking about you baby. I'm goin' crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy thinkin' about you lately. I'm goin' crazy, crazy when i can't touch you. Crazy, crazy when I can't hold you. Crazy, crazy when I can't see you again.

9.) Cookie Jar- Gym Class Heroes

I like girls, they like me, they look so good in they seven jeans.. want you to be the one and my only I wanna be faithful but I can't keep my hands out the cookie jar.

10.) Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional

Hands down this was the best date I can ever remember, always remember the sound of the stereo, the dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late and this walk that we shared together. The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it and let you in. And you stood at the door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it. And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it, that you meant it, and I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

Life Lessons

This week has been, let's just say difficult. Not really that bad when you get down to it, but it's been messing with my emotions. I felt lead to say goodbye to someone, and start moving on, so I did it. That was hard. I've been looking for a job, and having no success whatsoever so far. I'm stressing a little bit, I need a job before I can move. Move in date is the second week of December. It's getting down to the wire. I'm getting frustrated with the results from the gym, drinking only water, eating healthier. I'm not losing weight. I'm staying the same. Maybe it's from lifting weights (muscle weighs more than fat).. but I'm just feeling really discouraged. I found out about the upcoming divorce of some family friends, that just broke my heart.

To say my emotions are all over the place is an understatement. I was at the gym working out last night, and just started crying. For no known reason at all. It was kind of embarrassing, even though nobody saw me. Knowing that I cried while lifting weights is just weird to me. I thought about going home and having a good cry. Sometimes you just need one of those, right? Instead, I got in my car and just sat there and cried out to God. I prayed good and hard and I instantly felt better. It was like he said "I've got you. You're going to be fine. Rely on me, stop trying to do it all." And so I gave it all to him, and today I couldn't feel better. I feel refreshed and ready to tackle anything that comes my way (with his help of course). I saw an episode of One Tree Hill the other night and Julian said "Happiness is a mood. Not a destination." It's really true. I don't have to be happy all of the time. It doesn't mean I'm depressed, I'm just not happy at that moment.

I've realized that not every marriage is going to work out. It's a sad realization, but it's true. I shouldn't be so upset because two people that I care about grow apart. They clearly know what's best for them. It makes me sad, but it shouldn't affect me like it did.

I've also realized that worrying about finding a job isn't going to get me a job. God will have the perfect job for me, and I'll get it in time to move, or I'll just have to push back the moving date. No big deal.

I've realized that as long as I keep trying and I'm healthy, that's all that matters. I don't have to lose 5 lbs to be happy. It'll come off eventually, and when it happens, I'll celebrate. If it doesn't this week, I'm no worse off.

I've also realized how much one person can impact your life. I even said back then that if nothing came of our friendship/relationship, I would be blessed just from knowing him. Which is true. He taught me a lot, and maybe that's why he was in my life. Maybe we weren't supposed to have any more than that. I'll take it for what it's worth. I've learned a lot from him, and I'm just going to apply it to my life and future relationships. So, thank you.

I had quite the breakthrough last night, and it couldn't have come at a better time. I'm thankful for breakthroughs like that one. I look forward to the glass being half full again now that it's been poured into.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."

Thankful Thursday

*I am thankful for the Veterans who have served in this beautiful country. The past veterans and the current ones. I'm thankful for the freedom they've provided. Their bravery. Their selflessness. I'm thankful for our soldiers.

*I'm thankful for winter. It's coming, and I'm excited for pumpkin spice lattes and heavy coats and [more] snow and Christmas! Time spent with friends and family. Oh and I'll be done with the Fall term. That's good too.

*I'm thankful for my cousin. We've grown a lot closer recently, and I almost lost her a few years ago. I'm thankful that God healed her. I'm thankful for the things she says to me when I'm feeling down. I hope we get to live together soon!

*I'm thankful for happiness. I'm thankful for the ability to be happy, even while I'm hurting. I just took a trip down memory lane (read old e-mails from M) and instead of feeling sadness, I felt joy that for that point in my life I had so much joy, so much love. Of course I miss it, but I'm thankful that I can be happy without it.

*I'm thankful for my mommy. She and I have been through so much, and even though we still fight [rarely], I know that she's always got my back. I was blessed with the mom I got, even if I didn't have the best childhood, she's making up for it now.